I love what Dylan’s husband said about their recent miscarriage. It wasn’t her fault. She did nothing wrong. It was her body doing what it does. My first marriage crumbled as soon as I was told I had polycystic ovarian disease (PCOD). No answers just that it was impossible for me to get pregnant but also impossible to carry to full term. They took me off the Pill and told me it was not necessary. To add Insult to injury, I was told I was damaged goods since I could not have children. Not by my husband at the time but by his mother. After the divorce, I became pregnant and lost it at 4 months. By then I changed doctors. My new Doctor told me all about what was happening with my body and why it was almost impossible to get pregnant or to carry a healthy baby. But it wasn’t unheard of and there was new research going on about infertility and PCOD. Miscarriage after miscarriage I began to give up. A year later I found myself 20 weeks pregnant. Because of PCOD I was not having periods. But I recognized that the signs of being pregnant was not going away. I was single and scared but determined to go forward. I was able to carry to full term at 32 years young. I was blessed with a healthy baby girl! Fast forward 4 years, my fiancé and I found out I was pregnant. Not with one but two babies. We were ecstatic! At 4 months I started bleeding. I soon lost one. Then in two weeks lost the other one. Miscarriages were not talked about back then and by this time I have had several! I suffered in silence! My doctor recommended I go thru treatments to get pregnant. PCOD was surfacing in the medical world as treatable. We started going to a fertility specialist. I started the shots and all the appointments. No luck! By then I was 36 years young and decided to give up the idea of having another baby. I gave it to God and knew he was in control. We discussed adoption but my husband was not keen on the idea. There was the sigma of having to adopt. To me babies were a gift from God no matter where they came from. Again I was pregnant. Right around the corner was Father’s Day. Afraid to announce it, I thought what a great time to present the sonogram to my husband and his family. When I told everyone I was not faced with excitement. I was immediately told I was too old (37 years young) and they were frightened for me. They asked if I had thought about aborting if something was wrong with it. They were afraid I would have one with special needs or Down’s syndrome. I knew the risk and prayed to carry this baby to full term. But no matter what I would welcome this child with love. The pregnancy went along great with no complications and I delivered a beautiful baby girl on Christmas Day! What a gift! Another blessing! So thankful and grateful!!! Best Christmas present ever! Thank you God!!! As the years went on, I still would have another miscarriage then another. The last one I went in and found out I was about 18 weeks along. When I started bleeding again, I went in and was told I was too old (41years young) to have this baby and they would do nothing to stop the miscarriage. We had just moved to Texas and this doctor was a recommendation. I was really upset and hurt! But it was too late. I felt no one cared. No one wanted to talk about it. They all told me it was for the better because I was too old to have a healthy baby and should really consider a hysterectomy. I was ready to give up. By this time was praying for an early menopause! I didn’t want to go thru any more miscarriages or get my hopes up to have anymore children naturally. Things started to change. Women were beginning to be supported and informed more about infertility , miscarriages and all the options. Then at 45 years young, I thought that finally I was going trough menopause. I research for one of the best doctors in Ft Worth Texas. I went to a friend of mine, who was a nurse, she recommended the same one I had an appointment with. Not looking forward to hot flashes but relieved that there would be no more miscarriages, I went to the appointment. I haven’t had a regular cycle ever in my life and it had been over 6 months since my last one. The doctor came back in and said she was going to do a pregnancy test. What? She laughed and said I think your pregnant. What? No? This can’t be!!! I was the one thinking I am too old. How can this be? Is it going to be healthy? She did the test and I was 16-17 weeks along. The doctor was so caring and assured me that women can have healthy babies at this age. Even with my medical history. Her oldest patient is 52 and it is her seventh baby. I knew I was in good hands. At 46 years young I had a beautiful baby girl. A miracle!!!! God blessed me again. So I am a mother of three beautiful girls all 7 years apart! The youngest keeps me going and young. Looking back, I was told at 28 that I would not be a mom at all! God is in control. My faith and trust in Him got me through it all. So glad I didn’t listen to the first doctor who told me the only option was to have a hysterectomy. Don’t give up!!! There are so many treatments out there. Different doctors!! And adoption! So to anyone faced with infertility, what Dylan’s husband said is so true, it’s not your fault! Your body is doing what it does. Seek all options and go to different doctors. Not one, two but many. And adoption is beautiful no matter what!!! Motherhood is a journey. Different for each mom. I was once told that “The baby” I lost would be in heaven when I got there. My first thought was how many bedrooms my mansion would have and my second thought. I would need more than a mini van. I would need something more like a school bus! Love yourself and your body. Walk along anyone facing infertility or miscarriage, both women and men. So proud Dylan is facing her journey with courage. The courage and openness to share her story, emotions and all. And so happy for her that her husband is facing the journey with encouragement and with love!!! It takes two in more ways than one.
Stacy mom of three.