My husband had a dinner meeting last night—the late kind.
So I got all three kids to bed just before nine, at which time I
took my biscuit to the couch,
with some cheese, pickles, crackers,
and half a glass of wine,
and put on some garbage reality tv.
Thinking I would surely sit through at least half a season in one evening, I didn't even make it through
one whole show,
an entire block of cheese,
a giant heaping of delicious "wickles,"
or my glass of wine.
Because more than those things, what was calling me last night was
my pandemic-driven purchased devotional,
and some time to just lay down on my cozy old mattress and JUST BE —
with my normally-noisy-but-not-for-this-second-in time home,
my thoughts and all my feels,
and with my three sleeping hearts tucked into their beds and my other heart doing what he does best, which is anything and everything to support our little family and provide me with the opportunity to support our children in way I do best, as a stay-at-home mama.
I'm a writer too,
and I guess an author now as well since out of the pandemic, I birthed a book,
so, really, I should have written last night. I should have been productive.
But I wasn't.
I didn't touch the laundry.
I left dishes in the sink.
And I trashed the notion that I must fill a pocket of free time with tasks.
And it was absolutely a night I didn't know I needed, and goodness knows I didn't want.
I don't like to be alone, nor do I favor the hubs going out sans me.
I don't like too much quiet, and I'm typically itching to fill it with my own noise.
But alas, the only task I undertook was ensuring I didn't have any for the rest of my evening.
Because sometimes we need to switch gears.
So very often, we are hella' focused on
or many things, or responsibilities, or other people, that we forget to focus on ourselves.
it's taken me a while to grasp this,
but though time doesn't slow down, we still can--and we should.
Here's to you and your willingness to slow down when and where you can.
You're a parent, and parents are humans, not machines, but if we keep operating like 'em, we're going to break.
Don't let that happen to you.