Mother’s Day is coming up soon, and I can’t stop thinking about you. It is your first Mother’s Day as a mom after all. Nine months ago you brought a beautiful baby into this world. You held him tightly to your chest, told him how much you loved him, and placed him into my arms.
I literally have to catch my breath every time I think about that moment.
Your strength on that day, and every day since, amazes me to no end. I have no idea how you did what you did for our son. Everything in your body was saying to hold on to him and never let go, but somehow you were able to look into his future and know what he needed. You knew that the life he deserved and the life you could provide were two entirely different things.
Not many people know you are a mother. You so strongly, and bravely navigated the birth and adoption of your baby without many others knowing what you were going through. You look at precious pictures of your baby on your phone, but you do not get to share our son with the world in the same way that I do.
On Mother’s Day, no one will shower you with flowers or a handmade card proclaiming you as the best mom ever. You won’t have your baby to cradle in your arms and admire how he has your eyes and your sweet personality. Most people won’t remember that you need to be celebrated as a mother, but I will.
A mother puts her own wants and desires after those of her child. She thinks not of her happiness, but of what is best for her child. She worries about all the choices she has made, and wonders if they were best for her baby. A mother lays awake at night wondering if she is enough. She wonders if her child can forgive her for the mistakes she has made. Sometimes she wonders if her child knows how much she loves them.
You see, all of those things are what makes you a mother. The fact that you aren’t changing diapers, fixing bottles, or holding his hands as he takes his first steps, doesn’t make you any less of a mother to our son.
You gave him life, and then gave him a new one.
Your sacrifice and determination allows me to be the one that will get the Mother’s Day card this year. I will be the one collecting macaroni necklaces, flowers picked from among the weeds outside, and all the hugs and kisses year after year on Mother’s Day. But my motherhood does not diminish yours.
If I had it my way, I would shout your name from the rooftops for all to hear. I would tell them of a young woman who is the strongest kind of mother there is. I would remind them that the reason my son has a beautiful life is because you loved him enough to let him go.
So each Mother’s Day, when the emotions coming flooding into your heart, stop and remember one thing. Our family won’t just be celebrating me, we will be celebrating our son’s first mother too. Because you are a woman worthy of a thousand praises, and a lifetime of love and gratitude.