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Teaching Your Kids To Fail

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No one wants their children to become failures. Parents all over the world try to do everything they can to make sure that their children grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive. Of course, many successful people often learn many vital lessons from failure.

How do you know when to fall back and let your children make the small mistakes that can shape them for the better? It’s important to remember that no human being is perfect, and that failure is an important part of life. Here are some ways in which you can “teach” your kids to fail in a way that might help them become better people.

Denying Help

It’s no secret that children aren’t always equipped to deal with their issues, which is one of the reasons they require lessons and training. This idea isn’t just limited to going to the bathroom - it also applies to language, math, and well...everything else.

You might think that you are helping your child by constantly helping him/her with her tasks, but you might be robbing them of the chance to learn it for themselves. There is always a balance here, as no parent wants to abandon their child in a time of need.

However, you might find that a child eventually figures out a way for themselves, or relies on memories of past lessons to succeed. The concept of not helping your child might seem cruel on a surface level, but it can absolutely help with overall development.

Figuring Out An Answer

Parents often want to give hints to their child when it comes to lessons or homework. However, if your facial expression is constantly helping your child navigate right/wrong answers - what message are you really sending? It isn’t as if your child can look at you when they are eventually taking a test in class.

If your child says the right answer to a math problem, it might be good to emphasize HOW they got there. If your child has the wrong answer and are getting frustrated...the solution isn’t just to tell them the right answer immediately.

It would be best if you took the time and effort to figure out what mistakes they are making, so you can understand what ideas/strategies they might be using that aren’t working.


Last week my Child was playing baseball in the front yard. His sister threw a great ball that was hit hard by my son. That ball ricocheted off his bat and straight at our kitchen window. Our window was shattered and our Son began to cry. This was a teachable moment that I was going to be able to use to teach him about failure/disappointment. I showed him that we could replace the window easily by calling a company. I was able to use this process to demonstrate the steps above and help him understand how in the future he too could overcome disappointment. As a parent you should also be looking for these teachable moments.


There are many variables here. You might have grown up in a certain way, where “letting your child fail” isn’t viewed as a viable strategy. However, parents will find that allowing their children to fail might be one of the best things that they ever did for them - even if the results are only apparent years down the line.

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