Everyone talks about raising happy children, well, excuse me, what about mom? If mom is a miserable, hot mess no way are her kids going to be happy, nope, no way. All day long moms cater to their kids endless needs of requests. "Mom, mom, mom..." Plus, the household to do list is never ending and there just aren't enough hours in the day so moms ends up putting themselves on the back burner and forget about taking care of themselves. It is time to take back our lives the little one's have sucked out of us and get it together and get happy!
What do I love to do, not have to do?
What makes me excited?
How often do I need to spend time with my passion?
I personally love to work out, drink wine and watch TV. Every. Single. Day. Yes! I drink wine daily to ease the "whine-o-clock" from my 3 boys. I also have to escape my family every day to work out or there is going to be a problem and you know what? Working out makes me happy which then makes my family happy.
Because I find time for these things I am a much more pleasant person to be around or as I like to say, happy-shiny because I make time for my favorite things, to steal a quote from Oprah. You may think your children need you every waking second so you don't have time for myself, WRONG. The reality is they are sick of you and would love for you to get a life and leave them alone. The hardest part is exiting your house, you just have to walk out, do it, because when you return smiling your family will love you even more than they normal do.
HOW TO GET STARTED
1. If you find you're always yelling, sighing, or stomping around your house this is your wake up call that you are not happy. Pay attention to these signs and realize something isn't working and you need to make changes to fix it. Nobody is going to do this for you, this is all you sister!
2. Share this change in life commitment with your partner and friends so you are more accountable to the change in behavior. Enlist a buddy and use the buddy system to get going and this person cannot be wishy washy, she has to be a tough cookie to call you on your bull**** and wake you up from your robotic life.
3. Grab your calendar to write down when you're carving out time to do something you love and make the happy happen.
4. When requests for activities during this scheduled "Me Time" happen, honor your mission and say, "No!" For example, let's say you've planned to see the latest chick flick then you receive a request to do something you just do not want to do. You have to stay with your plan, get the guts (maybe enlist that buddy for moral support) to say no and keep the promise to yourself for the movie. The reality is you're not the worst mother if you miss yet another school activity, but, you will be a cranky one if you don't have your happy time.
5. The last really big challenge during your downtime is to stay the course and not start or do yet another household project. Are you going to be happier if you take 30 minutes from your hectic life and have "Me Time" or wash your floors? We already know that answer to that one. The floors can wait, compartmentalize those suckers. We will all live if you don't get the floors washed today. I've found it helps to let stuff go when I find a new date to get the project done and write it down in my calendar.
REAL WAYS TO FIND HAPPY MINUTES EVERY DAY
1. Wake up an hour before your children. I do this every day, even on the weekends, I get more done in this 1 hour than all day surrounded by my gang.
2. Ask your partner to take over certain household duties. He is not your knight in shining armor, nor a mind reader, so speak up and ask for help.
3. Out source errands. I bet your neighbor goes to the same dry cleaner, ask her to pick up your dry cleaning and next time repeat the favor.
4. Take turns with friends hosting play dates and when yours are out hunker down for your "Me Time." You better not wash your floors or I'll come over to stop it and you don't want that.
5. Hire a mother's helper. For a third the price of an older babysitter, a teenager can help do tasks around the house to free up your precious time.
The idea here is when we ask for help it creates more time and less stress so you can be a happier, calmer mommy. Mom "Me Time" is crucial because when mom steps away from the monotony of raising kids, yes, I said it, it's monotonous, she returns to her role refreshed and the countless needs won't bother her as much. It is time to get your happy on moms, any hour of the day!