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A black mother's lament

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As I woke up to another unjust shooting of a black man, my heart ached....again. 😔

Worry and panic for my three boys overwhelmed me, as it has their entire lives. It comes in waves depending on how long I can suppress the fact that this world will see them as a threat or throw negative stereotypes on them before they ever open their mouth.

I mean, life is already hard between the burdens of schooling, coronavirus, just trying to raise decent human beings and sustaining a thriving marriage, friendship drama and the list goes on.

And then there is ALWAYS this.

My race is present in everything I do. Everything. Every relationship I question if it ends or has issues because someone secretly has issues with me being black or are they just a jerk and it has nothing to do with that?

Every day, I have to fight to defy the negative stereotypes that are constantly expressed & placed on me while still trying to be gracious so I’m not seen as the “angry black woman.”

Most days I’m positive. Today, I’m tired.

I’m tired of fighting in every relationship, in my career, in my daily life for people to assume the best of me.

To choose me.

So, tomorrow I will put on hope, love and more grace. But tonight, I’m going to sit in my Truth without trying to fix it or wrap it up in a bow.


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