•••---••• •••---••• •••---•••
No this is not a typo, nor is it one of my new graphic border designs for the blog. And perhaps unless you're ex-military like My Bobby, you probably won't recognize that it's the official morse code for SOS, the rescue call. No- I'm not expecting a full rescue from our freedom fighters I often hear in the sky's above, however I will take it if they can provide a wet-nurse, and a clone of myself with tickets to Disney for the family to happily escape with for the day along with a bottle of Calgon to "Take Me Away!!".
It's hard enough to write this. In fact you are directly witnessing a woman besieged by so much utter fatigue that the only thing I can do (besides rocking my baby non-stop throughout the night to soothe colic and an umbilical hernia) is to stay creative, whatever that may entail. I trudge on by writing, playing photographer, cooking, planning, sometimes bathing (not easy these days), mostly interacting with the family as a whole and praying, basically anything else, but sleeping! It's been seven weeks now. Seven weeks since my world has been rocked!
Like basic good health, It's that thing you unwittingly take for granted until it's gone. Like when you catch a cold and suddenly forget what it's like not to breath with nasal irritation and congestion. When I do catch a brief wink, it's like my favorite comedian of the moment, Jim Gaffigan (5 children in tow) laments: "It's so sad leaving the bed in the morning. I'll miss you! You were great last night!" Or when he says, " If you want to know what its like to have five kids, imagine yourself drowning and someone hands you a baby."
However, my baby and I rarely know the difference still between day and night. Now please! Don't get me entirely wrong here! This is baby numero cuatro so yes I was fully aware that life would take this shape going into the deal- however, much like the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" you really never know or feel how it's all gonna go down until....the stuff really goes down!!
There are a few items keeping me afloat at the moment. My coffee! I am drinking Laird Hamiltons coffee made with Super Hard Beans taking my coffee experience to the next level. I NEED that next level. And yes I am ok with a coffee infused day or is it night? Either way, I am digging his coffee and his creamer that is dairy free.
After my pot of coffee, I have been grabbing a Daily Greens Half Pint, which is packed with greens and fruits. I love when companies send me their products to try. This one is a winner for my family. As I have mentioned I am in the weeds, and being able to grab a nutritional, organic cold-pressed smoothie has been a dream knowing I am not cooking the most nutritional things rights now.
Another helpful thing is having my mom tribe. They have been a great exhale for me, reminding me that the world is normal outside of my home. Once a month we are now having a supper club where I meet my mom friends out at a new restaurant. Some do not like the name "supper club," but no one wants to argue with a sleep deprived mombie of four.
Anyway, I know the saying, "this too shall pass," But it doesn't feel like it when you are in the thick of it. I am trying so hard to divide myself amongst my children's needs while my baby is trying to thrive. Poor Roman seems a bit lost right now, and I am dong everything I can to let him know we love him and he too is important. Something hard to understand at the tender age of three.
I have appreciated all your comments on here over the past few months. I feel like I have a group of cheerleaders pushing me on. Your words, messages have helped me so much, in ways I couldn't imagine. Thank you, thank you for pushing me on in this sleep deprived world I am currently in. I know it's not perfect right now, but your support has been great for me.
I know there are a lot of you out there persevering the same plight. And yes we do have gratitude for a perfectly healthy baby. He's beautiful beyond words and I am so grateful. Feel free to send your own distress call; if no one understands or sees it, I am here to say I do! Focus on your gratitude for this perfect little blessing you received. This is what it means to live by Grace. It's a tough job, but God always seems to give you enough strength to get by (right ?:)).
My children mean everything to me, and I am lucky and honored to partake in their life and fulfill the role as their mother. Everything's gonna be alright! I am just hoping these foggy days pass and I remember what it is I want to share with you!
I didn't send an SOS call for nothing. I would love to hear from you NOW! All tips and suggestions are wanted here on this platform. Comment away!