No you can't be the perfect mom. I can't be the perfect mom either. I don’t say that so you can contradict me. I am not looking for validation of that fact either. It’s just the truth. I’m not perfect and I'm learning I don't have to be.
However, the truth is that I could be more patient with my kids. I could be kinder more often. I could cuddle more. I could read more books even if sounding…out…each…word…seems…like…it…takes…forever.
I could stop being so darn busy all the time. I could quit filling my calendar and my life with so many activities. I can end the practice of focusing on crossing things off my never ending to do list. I could be silly more often.
You might see me in my Instagram life and think I’ve got it all together. My social media screams “look at my AWESOME mom life”. And my life is awesome. But it is also sometimes hard as hell. I’m realizing it can be both.
We aren't the perfect moms because perfection doesn't exist. But we're in this together. We don't have to go through this motherhood journey alone.
Maybe you think you don't give your kids enough time either. Maybe you yell too much too. Maybe you’re feeling deep inside that you aren’t bestowing your children with the things they need to grow and develop and become a wholehearted person.
Maybe, like me, you worry you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, not thin enough to be a good mom. Maybe you didn’t receive the kind of mothering you needed yourself. Maybe nobody carried you when you were tired or covered you when you were cold or fed you soup when you were sick. On behalf of the Universe, I’m sorry.
Maybe we can't be perfect. But we can be good. And maybe that's good enough.
Just know I’m with you. Lord, knows I’m right there wallowing in that pit, wading through that valley with you. Some days, many days, the only prayer I can conjure up as I desperately try to blink back the tears threatening to roll down my cheeks is “Lord, have mercy.” I pray for mercy to get through one more day of mothering. That sounds awful as I write it because being a mother is a privilege and a blessing. But you and I and God also know it can be hard too…so very hard.
Let’s make a pact. Let’s rise above the ideal of trying to be the perfect mom. Perfection is a myth. There are just moms like you and I. There’s just women who are doing the best they can with what they have every day. There are little girls who are now all grown up figuring out this mom thing on their own. Motherhood doesn’t come with instructions.
Today, let’s give all mothers grace. But most importantly, let’s give ourselves grace. Let’s stop trying to be perfect. Let’s stop beating ourselves up because we don’t fulfill some caricature of what a perfect looks like. Let’s let go of our desperate quest to be THE BEST EVER and just try to be the best moms that we can be…right here, right now. I pray our best work will be good enough.