The moments you realize you are getting older can be brutal. It may be when you pluck a thick black chin hair out of your once smooth chin or from those pesky wrinkles that align your face that was once blemish and wrinkle-free.
I have a few indicators. One is the lines on my forehead that don’t go away even when I show no expression. They are now permanent indentations, static reminders of my dwindling youth.
Another is that my body doesn’t bounce back like it once did. I threw my back out a week ago. And gosh, it hurts a lot. Like every time I pick up my babies I can’t breathe, a lot. It’s also taking time to go away because I keep re-injuring it. Because with age comes more responsibilities and I have two kids that give me no time to think twice about my back pain when they are crying for mommy.
My age is evident, even in my everyday conversations. I find myself talking about mortgages, babies, current events, and work. It’s more common for me to say "I'm so tired the baby was up teething every three hours last night," than "I'm so tired, I was out dancing until 3 am." Actually, the later never happens. That was a former life. Who has the energy to do that? Plus, hangovers are so not worth it these days.
I am no longer holding onto the youth of my twenties. I am embracing the thirties and all of the wisdom it has given me.
And one thing I have learned is that I will never know everything. I am continually gaining knowledge, evolving, and bettering myself.
But it does come with some things I am entirely sure about, and I would never trade my youth for:
I now know who I am, my likes and dislikes, and what I stand for.
I have now been through tough times, so I understand others’ situations without ever passing judgment.
I now have boundaries and will not put up with toxic people or situations.
Every aspect of my life has become more meaningful.
I am no longer on the brink of adulthood. I am in it--- knee deep, maybe elbow deep, if I am honest. I am so in it that even my bones feel it. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade that for the world because as Spider-man says “with great power comes great responsibility,” and the power of being a mother is the most magical gift you can bestow upon a woman. I will take getting older, even my back pain, for what it has given me---my beautiful, irreplaceable family.
This article was originally published on the author's Facebook.