Raising kids is quite possible one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. You go through hours (in my case, days) of exhausting labor and are handed this little bitty squirming bundle of humanity. AND THEY LET YOU LEAVE WITH IT! All alone! They send you home with a baby, and no instruction book. Its terrifying!
Thankfully, there is no lack of parenting books and advice being thrown at you. If you’re smart, you’ll take them with a grain a salt, unless you find one that resonates with you. That’s what happened when we read the MORE Method by Jen Groover. I wasn’t looking for parenting advice when I came across her, but her tips resonated with more than just what was happening in my life. It’s just a few mindsets to learn, but they are powerful.
Using the MORE Method not only teaches anyone at any stage of life to get more of everything they desire but can help parents to empower their children to live their best lives possible by teaching just these few mindset principles.
- Create The Drama Free Zone If you have tween or teens (heck, even elementary school kids these days) you know that life can be a MINDFIELD of drama. What I try to do in my life, and teach my kids to do, is to live in a Drama Free Zone. Living in the drama free zone means you live free of needless draining "noise and nonsense" in your life, therefore you have a lot more free time for positive productive people, projects and more. For me, that meant removing toxic and dramatic people from my life. I meant it when I decided to live in the Drama Free Zone- and once I enforced those boundaries, it was amazing how quickly people who were only around for draining drama disappeared. Obviously, there is a big difference between real problems in life and helping others through them, versus the pure drama which does nothing but create situations that drain us and destroy our positive energy. Choosing to live in the drama-free zone is a choosing to preserve your energy for more of the greater things we desire in life. That’s an amazing life lesson to teach your kids, even from a young age.
- Hurt people Hurt people, Happy People Don't How much easier would have all of our childhoods been if we had learned this principle? How many times could we have saved ourselves from believing the mean things others might have said to us or about us because we understood they were projecting their pain on us? Most people would say "A LOT" to both. The truth is when other people are mean, rude, and hurtful to others, it is because they are in their own pain. Often it is not even on purpose, but they are just unaware of the root of their behaviors and how to process how they are feeling, especially kids. Once we understand this, we can be a lot less affected by other people's hurtful behavior. And possibly even shift from being hurt or mad, to compassion and empathy. Jen Glovers said that she tells her children "You can pick up the stones other people throw at you, or you can walk away from them, because they aren't yours to carry."
- What You Focus on Expands Count Your Blessings! This is something that I have had to work on lately, after a series of bad days. It was actually my daughter who said, “Yes, Mom, the Fridge broke and the car died, but we saved the food, we’re getting the car fixed, and we’re all healthy“. She was right! Unfortunately, it is almost an epidemic level mindset in our society to focus on everything that wrong with the world, then what is right. The majority connects through complaining and gossiping. Since what we focus on expands, when we focus on what's "wrong", we will get more of what's wrong in our lives. The inverse is true too, and more people should use this insight to improve their lives almost instantly--by focusing on what's great, what they are grateful for, etc. When we shift into a mindset of gratitude, we can instantly up-level our energy and happiness factor.
- Use the Power of Pause STOP! Take a break! My kids tell me that I’m one to react right away, but I’ve learned to stop and think before I react. I put myself into a small time out! Once of the fastest ways to regroup when we get triggered or feel upset about something is to use the power of pause. Take a deep breath, potentially remove yourself from a situation and take time to process how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. This strategy helps everyone learn to respond to life's situations instead of reacting to them. When we are better at controlling our emotional states and learning how to respond effectively to situations, we will have healthier views of the world, and have healthier relationships with others. And when we have healthy relationships with other, we get more of everything good out of life.
- Nothing Has Meaning Until We Give It Meaning Sticks and Stone May Break My Bones…. This one is a little bit harder, especially for young ones. I’ll admit, when someone talks about me, even as an adult, it still smarts. However, it has become easier for me to let things that other people say or do to me go. This principle teaches us the power of personal responsibility and the power we all have to choose how we see things. We have the power to choose to be empowered by the meaning we give things, or we can give our power away. In every moment that is our choice. So often people assign meanings to situations that make them victims or angry, neither of those serve us in being our best versions selves. Even when things happen to us that we don't like, or are not ideal, we can decide to make the situation helpful or hurtful. Finding the lessons in every circumstance makes each moment as valuable teachable moment. How you view the world is in your control.
What I like most about the MORE Method is that isn’t not just todays buzz words. They are principles that I was looking for myself to help lead a more productive and happy life, and found it was perfect to share with my kids.