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This Is Anxiety in Motherhood and It Just Really Sucks

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This page is typically filled with humor.

Humor about motherhood and humor about marriage.

Even when things get tough, I have always found a way to find the humor in the situation.

But while this page is filled with humor, I like to keep things incredibly real and relatable.

Well today—today was shitty.

Today was filled with tantrums.

Today was filled with screaming.

Today was filled with lots and lots of tears.

Today was not filled with humor.

In keeping with the theme of realness, I will admit that it is rare that I have bad days.

I don’t say that to brag or boast, but just that it is usually easy for me to brush things off and find that small glimmer of humor in things.

I couldn't do that today. Not one bit. No matter how hard I tried.


Today was not filled with humor.

Today was one of those impossible days of motherhood.

Today was one of those days where no matter how many people tell you you’re an awesome mother, you believe that there is NO way that’s true.

Today was one of those days where you question your parenting abilities.

Today was one of those days where you put your kid in a safe place, shut the door to your bedroom, or closet, or bathroom, and have a gigantic cry.

Today was one of those days where you are convinced that you’re not cut out for this parenting gig.

Today was not filled with humor.

Maybe my anxiety got the best of me. The screaming cut through me like razor blades. All I could do was sit in my closet, back against the wall, with my knees pulled up to my chest.

I put my hands over my ears and counted to 10 a few times.

“You can do this,” I whispered to myself.

I knew I could handle this, but my mind was telling me I wasn’t good enough.

This is what anxiety does to you.

It’s ugly.

It’s mean.

It cuts you down into a million pieces.

When it rears its ugly head, it's nastiness at its finest. It will make you feel inadequate and worthless, within seconds. It will make you feel like no matter what you do, it's never good enough. You're never good enough.

You just have to keep telling yourself that you are right where you are meant to be.

You are perfect for your children and doing the absolute best that you can do.

This is motherhood.

It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

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