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The many emotions of 'firsts'

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“Mama, take a photo of us doing silly faces,” as belly laughs billow out of their small bodies.

The choke hold of anxiety, slowing wrapping itself around my throat, about the first day of school dissipates and I finally feel myself breathe.

The first day of school brings about many emotions for us moms and our kids, whether it’s the first day of a threes program or the first day of our grown child walking into a four hundred person lecture hall on the expansive grounds of a college campus.

It’s still a “first.”

Firsts are exhilarating while also dreadful.
Firsts are new paths forged while releasing the old.
Firsts are growing up while holding on.
Firsts often take our breath away from the anticipation and excitement but also from sheer fear.
Firsts can be easy and firsts can be down right challenging.
Firsts can propel us forward but also hold us back trembling, not able to take another step.
Firsts bring about smiles of joy but also tears of dread and anxiety.
Firsts mean opening up and trying the new while wanting to stay right where we are.
Firsts are moving past butterflies swirling in our stomachs but also butterflies never ending.

Firsts mean taking the first step with faith and confidence.

So as we embark, on the many “firsts” in our our lives, maybe a little silly face photo will keep it all in perspective and allow us to let go of the unknown enough to be our true selves at heart.

It’s okay to admit firsts can be hard.
It’s okay to take it slow.
It’s okay to take a moment to breathe prior to taking a step forward.

I may not be entering the doors of an unknown building, donning my new shoes and backpack, but unfamiliar doors are always opening up with new opportunities and challenges.

I may be fearful of failing, not being accepted or insecure but I’m going to muster up all of my strength and place one foot in front of the other and take a leap of faith.

So as I allow myself to slowly and deeply inhale, I’m going to round up my all time best silly face and exhale, allowing my true self to shine as I embark on a new path today.


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