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Challenge: Romance After Kids

Romance in the trenches

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My husband and I have been married for almost seven years. We have two kids under five and as of last month, we have a puppy because why not? What's one more living, breathing being to clean up after? We both work full-time at fulfilling, but very demanding jobs and when we aren’t working, we’re pouring everything we have into our little darlings. As you can imagine, a lot of our conversations revolve around poop, sleep, and snacks, and most days we’re both running in on million different directions trying to keep the train moving before bedtime. Exhausting is the word you're looking for!

The days of lazy mornings and sleeping past 7:00am on a Saturday have left the building for the foreseeable future as are the last minute romantic getaways and late night movie dates. Our two year old is a pro at destroying things including himself – ask me later about our last vacation where he chipped his tooth in the middle of a tantrum – and our four year old is trying out that independent woman sass that keeps us on our toes. Quiet time around our house is rare and time spent just the two of us? Well that’s even rarer.

In this season of parenting littles who demand so much of us – physically, emotionally and everything in between – romance looks different than in our newlywed days. We’re in the trenches, but he keeps romance alive in all the little and big ways that make me swoon.

It’s in the way he asks “What can I do to help you?” multiple times a day because he knows there’s a lot going on.

It’s in the way he always gets my toothbrush ready every night.

It’s in the way he calls me on his way home from work so we have a chance to talk, just us, before he gets home and the kids run straight to him.

It’s in the way he can sense when I need to tap out from the kid’s craziness so he takes them to play in the backyard and gives me some much-needed quiet time.

It’s in the way he puts up all the clean laundry because he knows that’s my least favorite chore.

It’s in the way he reminds me the knock-down, drag-out tantrums won’t last forever.

It’s in the way he orders take-out when he knows it’s been a busy day and the last thing we want to do is cook.

It’s in the way he runs to the store for me when we need something, and he doesn't complain when I then text him 12 others items I suddenly remember I need.

It’s in the way he prioritizes time for just the two of us, planning short trips and date nights.

It’s the way he can sense when something’s off, so he sits and let me talk it out, listening and holding my hand and getting me the good snacks.

It’s in the way he kisses me in front of our kiddos and tell them what a great mama they have.

It’s in the way he lets me make the coffee run because he knows I need 10 minutes alone in the car to decompress.

It’s in the way he tells me I’m beautiful, and smart.

It’s in the way he just knows when I text and ask "Honey, are you headed home?" that means PLEASE COME HOME NOW IT’S A CIRCUS!

It’s in the way he really sees me.

To my dear, sexy husband, there’s no one I’d rather be in the trenches of parenting littles with. I adore you, and while I look forward to that day when we can run off to that romantic cabin on a whim, a long kiss from you when you get home from work while our daughter says “eeewwww yuck!” is pretty sweet, too.

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