Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Romance After Kids

Romance After Kids: Perfecting The Date Night

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


Because more than 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and sexless marriages running rampant in society, it's clear that people are missing the boat on love, romance and relationship understandings.

There's a remedy you can turn to that keeps things fresh, especially if you have kids -- date night.

Not just any date night, you need to keep date night sacred.

When you want your relationship to survive the times and the change in roles as the two of you become parents, there are a lot of things you need to know about making date night as great as it can be.

With this in mind, keep reading so that you can learn as much as you can about making your date night a ritual that sustains your relationship.

1. Schedule It And KEEP It!

The problem with date night is that people tend to treat it like a special occasion or get frivolous with scheduling.

To make sure that date night works for you, make it special, but keep it consistent.

I would strive for once a week. If you're balking at that, I would compare it to the old Zen adage about meditation -- meditate 20 minutes per day, and if you don't have 20 minutes, you need an hour.

What this means is that if you can't find one day a week for date night, this speaks to a bigger issue and makes the need for date night more urgent.

Regardless of what you do for a living, your relationship is home base and sets the foundation for everything. Keeping the spark alive for each other helps you as individuals, professionals and parents.

Make sure that you also treat date night with the specialness it deserves. Wear a new outfit every now and then. Break out a quality razor and shave. Use a special cologne and perfume. Whatever you have to do to give each other your best selves, make it a ritual for date night.

2. Switch It Up And Take Turns Choosing

You'll really get the most out of your date night when you decide to switch everything up, rather than getting stuck in a rut.

One date night might be at a restaurant, while another might be go-karts. You might go rock climbing one date, and catch a simple movie for another. When you allow each other to switch things up, you both feel involved and will have the opportunity to be involved in your relationship.

3. Consider The Sex Rule

A shocking statistic shows that 15 percent of couples haven't had sex in the last 6 months to a year.

While sex isn't everything, it can definitely hamper your relationship if you're not comfortable with each other. It's easy to put up blockages and fall out of the sex and romance swing, which has tremendous ramifications on your relationship as a whole.

The remedy for this is to implement a sex rule to your date night. This means that you should have sex on every date night. It might not seem romantic to schedule your sex, but it keeps your relationship consistent and takes the nervousness of whether or not it'll happen off the table.

However, it's important that you keep this fun, rather than putting added pressure on either one of you.

4. Use This As Both A Time To Unwind And Set Goals

Make your date nights purposeful -- even if the purpose is just to forget about everything in your life outside of each other.

You're parents 24/7, but give yourself the chance to just be all about each other on date night. Let your hair down and have fun.

You also can use date night to set goals for your relationship, be it buying a house, planning for another child or saving money for an extravagant vacation.

Use these words of advice so that you're able to take your relationship to the next level through date night.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.