I know this feeling.
Yes, I’ve felt this before.
Except – gosh, it’s been years.
A little restless. Determined. Moving with extra speed and focus to “get it all done.” Wanting so badly to do it well, to do it right (whatever that even is). Getting ready. An urge. Preparing… the nest.
Oh my God.
This feeling that’s been simmering and sometimes full boiling recently – it’s NESTING.
But - there’s no baby coming this time. The opposite actually. My once babies are loosening their foothold in childhood, so close to leaping into young adults. My oldest, twins, are headed into high school and it feels a little like a giant neon sign flashing “THESE DAYS WITH THEM ALL STILL HOME, STILL BEING KIDS, WON’T LAST FOREVER!”
And… I think I’m nesting.
Suddenly, I feel compelled to fix up our front room, to make it a more inviting and functional space for hosting their teen friends. I want the back deck and fire pit to be a place they’ll want to hang. I’m giving each of their bedrooms a makeover. I have this urge to stock up the shelves in the kitchen with ‘the good snacks,’ and to find the time for real dinners around the real table. I’m painting walls and thrifting just the right furniture finds. I’m fussing and fixing.
And - it’s not just the physical nest. It’s everything we’re supposed to teach them while they’re in the nest too. Asking myself if we’ve had this conversation or that conversation. Wondering if they know without a shadow of a doubt just how fully and unconditionally loved they are. We really should have them helping in the kitchen more. Do they advocate for themselves, will they advocate for others? Do they know how to change a flat? Budget and save? The vacation - we should take the vacation. Can they repair a relationship conflict? What about when they stumble, or struggle - have I told them this is part of the journey, part of learning and growing, how to reach out for help, how to lean on their faith? Maybe I should get them to read that book. Am…. I doing enough to ready them for this leap?
Phew… it’s felt like a lot lately.
It’s felt like nesting.
But I’m not preparing the nest for their anticipated arrival this time. I’m preparing it for the flight they will someday make from it.
It IS a lot.
Nesting… who knew it’s more than just a late pregnancy thing.
It’s a lifelong motherhood thing.
It’s a “I care about making this place home for you always, and I care about teaching you all the things, and I care about making sure you’re so fully loved” thing.
Turns out I’m nesting again.
And it’s my honor.