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Hi everyone . So I guess my story is a journey that I did not expect but I am thankful for the Lord that he gave me this journey and it's only Made Me Stronger. I had my son on July 1st 2015 and since then my life has changed dramatically. When Nathan my son was about 1 1/2, his father put his hands on me an incorrect way. That day changed my life forever. My son is now two-and-a-half and his father is a part-time father...only want to see him every other weekend.. when he has him sick you can't handle it..I am the only stable person as a parent. His father has no job,no licence, behind on child support at the age of 40 something, not going tothrow out ages here LOL but I'm drained. It has been very trying times where there's no sleep & I have to deal with a child who's crying, having a breakdown scared, sad, hurt and his father doesn't even call at all when it's not his weekend to see how his son is how he's progressing in daycare or what's been going on with our child I'm the one who takes care of our child on her own 98% of the time . This journey was unexpected I never expected my son to be a statistic, but would I give it up for anything..nope. I really just wish that things worked out differently but man can I say I'm tired stressed-out anxiety panic attacks so high and I'm not going to lie I cry a lot but this little boy is my world and I'll do everything I can to make this world a better world for him. And I pray that his father opens up his eyes before he misses out on everything that he already has. And yes I am too nice and yes I need to start being a jerk to him as he is to me. that's not me it's a how I go about things. Court is going to be handled soon for visitation . And praying he gets a job anytime soon so we can go back and get this child support situation fixed. I am sorry but $70 a week is not enough to take care of a child! Seriously I love my baby boy so much but I need a time out so bad LOL who can relate it's hard not as hard as I thought it would be this journey has taught me a lot. And I'm grateful for it. I'm stronger for it! But this kid drains me in good ways and bad and I know they say that we need to take care of ourselves as parents also not just the child's but when do you really get to do that . I haven't even started dating cuz I just don't find that to be in my schedule or even in my time due to my son I don't want to take my time away from him . But I know eventually I'll find love again someday just not ready right now. I just know this journey will get better in time and I'm blessed with my son not my mind LOL or anger LOL sadness LOL sleepless nights LOL child being sick and not knowing what to do or help him LOL and I could go on. Truly didn't know that parenting was like this but it is a blessing when you do get the chance to be one I can't say that enough . I just got to learn how to take care of me and honestly I don't know how to do that. I need to join a gym I need to start losing weight again I need to get back to me also . And someday I hope I do .Where to start smdh I don't know. Thank you for letting me tell you my story my journey prayers and blessings to you all xxoo

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