Out of the gates, you should know that I am an Enneagram Three which means that there is definitely a high vanity streak in me naturally. I know this. So investing in my outward appearance comes easy.
BUT, before you go writing off clothes and hair and makeup as just something you don’t have time for, or get all judgey on me, I’d love for you to hear me out on WHY I think it’s actually vitally important to your relationships for you to invest in clothes and your appearance.
You don’t need to be fancy to look, and FEEL, more put together.
DO I NEED NEW CLOTHES?
Short answer: Most likely, YES.
Long answer: Yes, BUT…
I firmly believe that you do not have to break the bank in order to do this.
Look, here’s the thing ladies, if you are STILL wearing those same “cozy” (probably more like ratty) sweats that were your favorite to wear in COLLEGE, then it’s time that you get yourself some new clothes. Your body has changed. Those hips have filled out, those tatas have started to sag, and don’t even get me started on your UNDERWEAR drawer! You are so busy running around caring for your people, that you have neglected the one person that you have to live with the rest of your life– YOU! It is not your shape, your size, your height, or your current weight that matter but rather how you feel in your own skin and learning to love and accept who it is that you are right now.
Look good, feel good.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT WHEN I FEEL GOOD, I SHOW UP TO LIFE BETTER. MORE PREPARED TO TAKE ON THE DAY.
WHO ARE YOU MODELING YOUR LIFE AFTER? ARE THEY SHOWING UP FOR THEIR WORK LIFE EVERYDAY LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL SLOB KEBOB?
Chances are NO. Why do your kids who play sports wear uniforms? Because appearance MATTERS. People just naturally will take you more seriously if you show up looking the part. Not only that, but YOU start to believe it about yourself as well. Confidence grows when you put effort into how you look.
For example: new socks. How good do a new pair of socks feel on your feet?! So good right?! Or how about a new pair of jeans that don’t sag in the butt because your body has yo-yo’d 4,000 sizes while bearing the 4 billion children that are now at your feet? So good right?! You’re always excited to wear that new thing in your closet first thing (and if you aren’t excited to wear it, RETURN IT!) Point is, that as your budget allows, investing in yourself matters.
Shopping, hair appointments, nail appointments, all of that can feel very shallow or vain. And it CAN BE if your why is simply to impress others. That is not a good enough reason that will sustain you in your motherhood journey. But taking care of yourself is NOT a sin. Wanting to look good for your spouse is not a sin. Your marriage will thank me later when you finally buy a new bra and underwear – these are my recent faves I buy them one at a time because they’re a small fortune compared to my previous 5/$20 Target gems.
WHERE DO I START?
Athleisure & high-rise jeans were the best things to ever happen to #momlife
You don’t have to do all of the things. Do not hear me saying that you need to go spend a bunch of money in order to reinvent yourself.
But definitely budget for something new for yourself every so often, ESPECIALLY if your body has undergone massive changes and things just don’t fit exactly how they used to. Just because you are a mom, does not mean you are disqualified from investing in your wardrobe or appearance. It also isn’t an excuse to let yourself go. It is OKAY to wear something that fits you RIGHT NOW.
Do it for yourself. Look good, feel good.
One simple improvement can have a massive effect on how you show up for your people. Your mindset matters, and appearance and wardrobe are part of the contributing factors to your mindset. Your clothes are the tools in which you use to tackle your day.
- The goal isn’t more stuff, it’s simply stuff that sparks joy for you and that fit your current body. Not your goal body. Not your pre-baby body that someday you’ll get back to. Your right now body.
- Invest in a product from a store that has a good return policy too so that if something happens, you can bring it back and not be out that money.
I want to offer you permission (which you don’t need PS) to start investing in yourself. Your closet, your hair, your body (gym!!) – all of it matters in how long you are going to last in this race. Your kids and your family simply want you. They don't need you at a specific size or weight, they just want the best you.
Motherhood is NOT for the faint of heart and we are in a marathon, not a sprint. Gear up – get yourself ready for the next 18 years. You are literally the only person that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Be the person who you want your kids to be. Show up for yourself, SO THAT you can show up for your people.
LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD.
Say it until you believe it.
This article was originally published on Design Style Purpose. For more on how to find purpose in the everyday monotony of motherhood without losing yourself or your sanity, check out Ashley's other work.