You need to do your thang right where you are at.
Do you know what I mean by that?
That means no more making excuses for why you can't
write that book,
take that class,
learn that skill,
volunteer your time,
go to the gym,
hone your parenting skills,
deepen your connections with your kids,
be intimate with your spouse,
lose that weight,
learn to cook,
go out with the girls,
prioritize your marriage,
or make new friends.
Listen, I get it.
I am the queen of giving reasons why I can't get shiitake done.
Hence, why you have yet to find my writings in a hardcover form at your local Barnes and Noble or on Amazon.
And, so, it's really no trouble for me to list my excuses for you now:
1. Lack of time. 2. KIDS 3. The KIDS' laundry 4. The KIDS' noise. 5. The KIDS' schedule. 6. KIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS. 7. Headaches caused by kids 8. Energy depletion thanks to kids 9. No time to even think 10. Work 11. Housework 12. KIIIIIDDDDDDSSSSSSSSS
So pretty much
1) a lack of time
are the two main reasons why I, and what I assume are many other mothers, don't do all those "things" we want.
But do you know what?
I am so incredibly tired of myself for blaming my offspring for me not chasing my dreams -- big or small.
Because they are one giant-ass reason why I should have tunnel vision on those dreams of mine and be deliberately moving in full pursuit towards them.
Oh, and not to forget to mention that those three precious kids and their presence in my life, was a dream once;
one I still have,
one I very much made come true
and one from which I will forever reap the benefits.
We need to do our thang right where we are at and exemplify for our children, especially our daughters, but our sons too, that we don't need to be
in a bigger home,
have a better paying job,
a larger village,
a more supportive spouse,
a better education,
or look any different than we do right at this very moment,
to achieve our self-determined goals and chase down the improved and happier version of ourselves and lives that we long to be and have.
Could we use more time?
Would that help in the acquisition of our dreams?
Of course, it would.
It would make things
At least that's what I regularly tell myself.
But would it?
Because what I find myself needing to remember (and maybe you should too) is this:
That the time that we have is all that we've got.
And that spending time with the people we have, that's making the most of what we've got.
And, no matter how hard we wish and pray for more of time so that we can get more done, nothing will change the fact that each one of our present moments is an opportunity to work for what we want, beyond what we already have, with what we've already got.
So, write that book even if it takes you ten years of only working on drafting it an hour each night after the kids go to bed.
Take that class even if it means you have no time to shower on Tuesdays.
Learn that skill even if it doesn't come easy to you and requires you to watch YouTube tutorials with your toddler in your lap.
Volunteer your time because nothing feels more rewarding.
Work part-time or full-time or not at all or work from home or job share or do whatever the hell you want to do and change it up whenever the heck you desire.
Go to the gym and tone up. OR don't. But, own your choice with zero guilt.
Hone your parenting skills because ALL of us screw up, but have kids who would undeniably benefit from us screwing up less.
Deepen your connections with your kids because when you do, almost magically, life and your hopes for yours becomes more clear.
Be intimate with your spouse even if that means the kids eat frozen pizza for dinner and go to bed early.
Lose that weight, but not just in your stomach. Lose the weight of everyone's expectations, including yours.
Learn to cook if you enjoy it.
Go out with the girls because we all need to wind down.
Prioritize your marriage because you love that partially annoying being on the couch next to you.
Prioritize you because if you don't, who will?
And, make new friends, authentic ones, ones who will, just like me, remind you that, girl, you've got to do your thang and you can do it from right where you're already at.
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