Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Pregnancy and Infant Loss

'It's hard for me, too': A letter from a grieving parent

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

Dear Loved One,

I know my daughter’s death was hard on you. It was hard on me too.

I’m sorry that it makes you uncomfortable when I say her name. To be honest, it makes me uncomfortable that you won’t.

When I mention her, I know you feel the need to change the conversation because you’re sad. I’m sad too. That’s why I keep bringing her up.


I know the fact that my baby just suddenly died is scary for you. When it actually happened to me, I was scared too.

I hear you when you say you’ve never dealt with this before. Neither have I. This is the first time my child has died, I’m trying to figure it out too.

I’m sorry it’s awkward to be around me because my baby died. It’s awkward for me to answer questions like “How many children do you have?” and “Was there anything you could have done?” I get it.

I know you really don’t want to hear about my sad story right now. I really wish I didn’t have to tell it.

Thank you for letting me know that you think it’s time for me to move on and stop dwelling. I imagine I’ll move on when I stop loving my baby. I’ll keep you posted.

I know you have been waiting for me to “get back to normal.” There are times I wish I could go back there too.

I’m sure your intentions were heartfelt, but they have left my heart feeling broken.

I’m sorry this letter is difficult to read. I assure you it has been difficult to write because I love you and I was expecting more from you.

Again, I know this has been hard for you. It’s been hard for me too.

With love and compassion,


Related video:

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.