It’s easy to drift apart in a marriage.
There are always other things to focus on.
The “to do” lists are endless.
When two people commit to spending their lives together, there is never a shortage of things to be irritated or frustrated by -
the way they leave their towel on the bathroom floor;
the way they chomp loudly on a pen when nervous;
the way they always have “just one more thing to do” before they leave the house, leaving you waiting in the car every time;
the way they say they want to watch tv with you but then are asleep within the first five minutes.
It’s easy to read between the lines of your exchanges and assume intention and meaning that just aren’t accurate.
It’s easy to hold a grudge, give the silent treatment, and keep your exchanges short and snippy.
It’s easy to lean away from each other - especially when times are hard.
No, marriages are not easy.
But, so often they are worthy of our time, effort, and attention.
So often it is worth it to lean in to each other in the hard times.
So often it is worth it to ignore the things that annoy us and focus instead on the things that are endearing -
like the way they ask us if we’d like some tea when they heat up water for their coffee;
the way they dig through the trash when you have accidentally thrown away your car keys, again;
the way they leave your nighttime pills for you on your nightstand;
the way they look for your eyes across the room when “your” song comes on.
It’s worth it to make time for each other - even on those days when they are the last person we want to see.
After all, those are the days we probably need each other most.
It’s worth it to do the hard work of finding our way back to each other again.
It’s worth it to throw out the lifeline to each other when we drift apart.