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Challenge: Romance After Kids

Boy meets girl. Life gets hard. So, what happens next?

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You’ve seen the movie.

You’ve read the story.

You’ve heard the gossip.

It goes something like this…

Boy meets girl.

They fall in love.

They get married.

They make babies.

A few of them.

Life gets busy.

Life gets hard.

Life gets expensive.

Life gets confusing.

Boy gets stressed.

Girl gets stressed.

Boy and girl stop talking.

Boy and girl only speak to fight.

Boy and girl -- sometimes slowly or sometimes rapidly -- drift farther and farther apart.

Boy and girl give up.

Boy and girl feel guilty for giving up.

Boy and girl move on with their lives, both seemingly okay.

And that is okay.

It’s okay to walk (or even run) away from something and someone that isn’t good for you.

It’s okay to make a decision that will make you happy even if it may be painful for others.

It’s okay to know when you’ve reached your “give a hoot” limit.

It’s okay to have expectations for your life and how you should be treated and loved and expect those to be met.

It’s okay to leave a situation that is unhealthy or stifling.

You’ve seen the movie.

You’ve read the story.

You’ve heard the gossip.

Boy meets girl, and they get married and have kids, but it doesn’t work out for whatever reason. They divorce and everyone moves on, and all is fine.

BUT...

What if you aim for a love that is unlike anything we have seen the movies?

What if your love story is unlike any love novel you’ve ever read?

What if your love is the kind that people gossip about because it’s so unbelievable, yet achievable?

What if your love story went something like this…

Boy meets girl.

They fall in love.

They get married.

They make babies.

A few of them.

Life gets busy.

Life gets hard.

Life gets expensive.

Life gets confusing.

Boy gets stressed.

Girl gets stressed.

Boy and girl agree to talk openly, honestly and frequently, even about the uncomfortable stuff.

Boy and girl refuse to fight in any manner that isn’t fair.

Boy and girl -- sometimes slowly or sometimes rapidly -- drift closer together with each challenge they encounter and tackle head-on as a team.

Boy and girl refuse to give up and remind each other daily that they never will.

Boy and girl feel slightly guilty for spending so much mental and physical energy on their partnership, but know it’s utterly necessary.

Boy and girl move on, not with separate lives, but from their “problems" and "issues," both big and small, and they are seemingly okay.

And that is okay.

It’s okay to stay when things aren’t perfect so long as the relationship in its entirety is still good for you.

It’s okay to decide to push through hard times, no matter how tiring and painful because you can see the light beyond the dark and you believe that you and your partner are strong enough to make it.

It’s okay to realize that far too often we feel as though we have reached our “give a hoot” limit when actually, we have a lot more hoots to give.

It’s okay to have expectations for your life and how you should be treated and loved and expect those to be met, but naive to think any person outside of yourself can make you as happy you can.

It’s okay to leave a situation that is unhealthy and stifling, but it takes real courage to acknowledge that your attitude and lack of gratitude may very well be contributing to the deterioration of your relationship.

So, here's what I'd like to see in real life, watch on the movie screen, read in the books and hear about in school pick-up line; it goes something like this…

Boy meets girl.

They fall in love.

They get married.

They make babies.

A few of them.

Life gets busy.

Life gets hard.

Life gets expensive.

Life gets confusing.

Boy gets stressed.

Girl gets stressed.

Boy and girl are okay because together, as partners, they put in consistent effort, dole out unconditional compassion and adhere to a single mantra which they strive to live out every day, which is:

Nothing is more of an adventure than trying to grow as a person while trying to grow with a person while trying to raise a person (or three). And, whenever you set out on an adventure, you must pack in your bag any tools you may need along the way. The same goes for this adventure, folks; you must prepare your mind and heart for what's ahead -- the expected and the spontaneous -- and you must be consistent with your effort.

So, here's where my story is at:

Boy meets girl.

They fall in love.

They get married.

They make babies.

Three of them.

Life gets busy.

Life gets hard.

Life gets expensive.

Life gets confusing.

Boy is stressed.

Girl is stressed.

Kids don't seem too stressed.

Boy and girl keep talking because they know they must.

Boy and girl fight occasionally but are working on their communication.

Boy and girl, at a healthy pace, are drifting even closer together.

Boy and girl will never give up because they know they have within them all the tools to stay together.

Boy and girl feel guilty about a lot, but working on their relationship? Nah, no remorse for that.

Boy and girl are seemingly okay.

Boy and girl have easy and hard days, just like every other boy and girl they know and see, and they take each day (and each other) as they come.

And that is okay.

Now, ask yourself, "where is my story at?"

And then, tell yourself, "that is okay."

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