I am tired of hating my body.
I am tired of yo-yo dieting in attempt to look better in a swimsuit.
I am tired of starving myself to the point of dizziness in an attempt to wear last years shorts.
I am tired of counting calories, counting carbs, and checking trans fats.
I am tired of feeling guilty for eating donuts instead of kale.
I am tired of hating the softness of my once firm stomach.
I am tired of hating my thick arms.
I am tired of wishing away my love handles, simply because I've been brainwashed into believing they don't look "good" hanging over my jeans.
I am tired of looking in the mirror and wishing I could change what I see.
In all honesty, I'm just tired. Tired of trying to be perfect in every sense. Is perfection even acheivable?
I quite literally want to have my cake and eat it too. And I don't want to feel guilty for it. I don't want to feel somehow less attractive because of it. I want to feel beautiful just the way I am. Because I am.
I don't want to be defined by what my scale says. It cannot measure the depth of my intelligence. The depth of my strength in the face of adversity. The depth of my heart in regards to those I love and causes I am passionate about.
My measurements should be determined by how worldly I am, how much I have given to others, and by the impact I am leaving to future generations.
I am growing older, and in response, my body is growing.
It is changing.
It is evolving.
It will never look the same as it once did, because why should it?
Just as tough times build strong people, my body has been built. The highs and lows of life have fluctuated the pounds. Two precious children, health problems, stress, anxiety...all contributing factors to what I see when I stand in front of the mirror. This body is a road map of my life, and I no longer want to navigate a straight and narrow road. I want to embrace the bumps. I want to be happy with every inch of who I am.
My body tells a story, one that I am proud of. One that I am thankful for. One that I will no longer be ashamed of. I am going to embrace it in all of its glory.
I am done hating my body.