Never sleeping, never leaving the house, not taking a shower, and mood swings all seem like the usual happenings at a home with a newborn. When I also began crying nonstop, withdrawing from family, thinking of hurting myself, thinking of hurting my child, and regretting every decision to have a baby, I knew something was wrong. I knew something had to change, and thankfully, my husband knew it too.
I met with my doctor when my daughter was seven months old, and diagnosed with severe postpartum depression. I began taking medicine daily and talking to a therapist twice a month. I also had the support of my husband and his parents. After three months, I began feeling more like myself and no longer had feelings of hurting myself or my child. It has been fifteen months since that initial doctor appointment, and I am no longer taking medicine or talking to a therapist. My husband and I talk nightly about my day and the feelings I have had.
Postpartum depression is something I will always have and will always have to deal with. As I've begun telling family and friends about having it, I have found that I am quite alone. Some people had baby blues with their babies but most did not and only one other friend has experienced the level of depression that I did.
I wish someone had warned me about the feelings, the symptoms, and the heartache. I wish I would have read more about it prior to the birth of my child. Looking back, I believe it started when she was only two weeks old and worsened more each day until I finally looked to others for help.
If you believe you may have some symptoms of postpartum depression, please know that you are not alone. Besides the help of your doctor, there are many organizations that you can search for online who are there to help you through this. I want you to know that it is serious, but it is something you can overcome. And I have been there as well.