"Come here David!" I gestured to my brother with my free hand and waved my grandmother's scissors with the other. I was three. He toddled over, an unsuspecting one year old, and I gave his hair a few snips. Not a full cut, I reasoned, just enough to befuddle the grown ups. "There now," I thought, "now no one will know who cut our hair, him or me"
It's one of my earliest memories. Years later I was surprised to see the fuzzy memory confirmed in black and white in my baby book, just another item on the list: "Even David got clipped with my scissors". I hadn't confused them at all.
I’ve learned a great deal about children’s hair since then:
1) Sticking a giant, industrial strength label on your head only seems like a good idea for a very, very short amount of time
2) Removing a giant, industrial strength label requires coconut oil, detangler...and scissors.
3) Keep a bag full of soft elastics in the glove compartment. These are great for those days when your toddler pulls out her pony tails before you arrive at your destination.
4) If "those days" actually means "every day," just keep ALL the elastics in the glove compartment and do her hair upon arrival. Why do everything twice?
5) Not even the barber shop can fix hair once you’ve chased your toddler through the house taking swipes at his head with an electric razor whenever you manage to catch him.
My boy and his disastrous mom-made haircut in 1999
6) "Cradle Cap" is a cute way to say a baby has dandruff.
7) Last but not least, have fun with hair while they're little, because soon they'll be capable of fleeing from haircuts!