Ever feel that you're off your mom game?
How about off your work game?
And your spouse game?
I'm telling you - sometimes I feel like I'm on a carousel going round and round and round!
With working full-time and growing my own business, I’m constantly hustling and working. Since I love what I do, it’s 100% all-in for me.
With 5 kids, all with full plates of activities and appointments and busy schedules, I’m constantly trying to make sure all the pieces to everything that they do are neatly put into place. Does it always happen effortlessly? No. Do I try every single time? Yes. Do I fail miserably sometimes? Yes. Do I sometimes hit a homerun? Yes.
Even with my husband, I’m constantly trying to make sure we have our date nights (which usually is a movie, the couch and a beer/wine once the kids go to bed) and always on top of what each of us is doing. He runs his own company, too – so many times we’re like passing ships. Truly - passing ships. Since he’s very passionate about what he does, it’s a constant back and forth to make sure we both get what we need professionally. Since he’s a BIG supporter of me and vice versa, we do our very best to make it all work.
With managing the house… well - with 5 kids it's not easy. I'm trying to always stay on top of the cleaning, organization, laundry, chores and just everything else that managing a house entails, I’m constantly making to-do lists and doing the very best I can to bring it all together. Nobody likes a bathroom without toilet paper. Nobody wants a bathroom without toilet!
Balancing it all? Juggling everything up in the air?
Come on, there are so many balls… there’s no way even an expert juggler could make it look easy.
I’ve often said over the years there are days I’m a really good business woman and there are days I’m a really a good mom and there are days I’m a really good wife… on the day(s) that all 3 worlds merge, it’s an EPIC DAY. I mean, EPIC. It hardly ever happens, but when it does… it’s EPIC on a massive scale.
Balance. It's supposed to be a thing, right? Balance is supposed to something we strive for and want in our lives. But it's not a once size fits all. Sometimes I see other moms "balancing" life beautifully and seamlessly, but I don't see her at home at night at 10 p.m.! That's usually when I'm fried - feet up with sweat running down my cheeks! Awhile ago one of my best friend's shared with me her take on the balance piece. She shared with me that her word is blend, not balance… and I LOVED that.
It’s not a balance, it’s a blend.
It makes so much more sense because that’s exactly what it is that I’m doing and what the hundreds and hundreds of other women I chat with online are doing, too. We’re trying our very best to blend our different worlds to make everything work.
I love being a mom. It’s everything to me.
I love being a wife. It’s everything to me, too.
I love owning my own business and working. It’s everything to me, too, too!
I can’t be all 100% of the time to the best of my ability, but I can (to the best of my ability) blend my worlds as much as I can.
When I’m at home with my kids and my husband, I’m home. If I need to work while I’m home… my version of blending is sometimes bringing my kids/husband into my work or making sure I have the ability to get some work done while they’re home, doing other things. I know my 4 sons understand that I have to work, but my daughter doesn’t yet. So when mom’s home, she thinks mom’s home. She thinks it’s playtime. So within these moments, it’s trying my best to blend the worlds.
It’s never going to be a perfect formula or equation. I know I’m always going to feel that I wish I could give more here or there, but it’s not possible. I know this now, I have accepted this years ago.
But blending, not trying to balance everything… it makes so much more sense to me. Everything doesn’t always have to be its own separate box, we can mix things up and still make it work.
Can we have it all?
I don’t know. I just don’t know the answer to this yet. I’m trying the best I can to have it all in my life. I don’t do playdates regularly. I forgot to pack field trip money today for my son, so the school called to make sure he was still going. I missed my niece's birthday yesterday. The laundry is a wall right now in my laundry room. I've been gone for 2 weeks traveling for work and it's completely thrown off the week! I needed to rely on my parents and my husband last week to help with everything.
But you know what? Everyone survived and still… stuff got done. Everyone’s happy. Everyone’s healthy. My business didn’t shut down. It’s stopping to take a deep breath and also giving yourself some slack sometimes. We don’t run like machines, we’re human.
I’m just going to keep remembering the mantra… it’s a blend, not a balance… it’s a blend, not a balance.
Say it with me... it's a blend, not a balance.