Doing it all —
women have been grappling with this concept for a long time.
And we live in a culture striving for ALL THE THINGS —
so, we follow suit.
Some of us have full-time jobs outside of the home and are still expected to come home and do all the work behind the scenes.
Some of us stay at home during the day doing ALL THE THINGS for the kids and work from home at night doing ALL THE THINGS for an income.
And some of us stay at home doing EVERYTHING, and that's a lot in itself.
And if we aren’t expected to, we put it on ourselves. We take the responsibility because we want to.
Because we know we won’t forget to make that sandwich he likes for school or pack her toy, she often needs for comfort.
No matter what women do —
there’s no arguing that we have A LOT on our plates.
And somewhere along the way we learn there’s no perfect balance.
That we can do it all,
but not well.
I had a wakeup call the other day.
I went to visit this special program for my 2-year-old’s anxiety issues with my mom (I wanted her opinion), my 2-year-old, and the baby.
At one point, the director asked, “What are you going to do with the baby?”
“I was thinking about wearing her on my chest.”
She turned to my mom, “Do you mind watching the baby every Tuesday and Thursday for an hour?”
At first, I was taken aback. THAT WAS BOLD.
Of course, my mom said yes — she’s an awesome grandma — but I hated that she put that responsibility on her. I don’t ask for favors and bring my babies everywhere — I did it with all of them, so I feel guilty leaving my third behind. My own neurosis is even though there’s more of them, they should still have equal time spent with me.
But the first Tuesday session alone with my 2-year-old, I had an epiphany. I’m always rushing and doing everything on my own to avoid mom guilt that when I finally slowed down and got that one-on-one time, I realized how much she needed it for what we’re trying to achieve.
And I was glad the director was bold.
Now I have to work on being bold myself —
and choose what’s best for my children over self-inflicted guilt.
As mothers, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be everyone’s everything when sometimes the best thing for everyone is to stop constantly juggling — and accept help.
The baby slept —
and I was able to focus on the child who needed all of me.
Us mamas need to find our own balance by picking and choosing what’s important.
And it’s messy.
To survive, we have to write our own rules.
Because right for you, won’t be right for me.
If we don’t, we’ll miss out on what our kids need, because we’re moving too fast.
It’s time to reflect and change our ways.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId
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