This year will easily go down as one of the worst that I have experienced. I’ve cried, fought, and failed more times than I can count. I’ve prayed myself to the point of exhaustion and begged for the Lord’s guidance through a puffy, tear streamed face. Sometimes the pain seemed unbearable, but I smiled. I put on my big girl pants and smiled through all of the hurt. I smiled through the heartache of losing loved ones. I smiled through the sadness of living so far away from my family. I smiled after realizing that a friendship had run its course and needed to end. I smiled through the stress of work and motherhood. I reached a point of total exhaustion, but yet I smiled as I realized that 2018 probably wasn’t finished with me yet.
I began to question if things could get any worse. How much more can one person be burdened with? When is enough ENOUGH? After countless, sleepless nights I realized that we accept what is thrown at us and fight our way through it because we have no other choice. It’s what mother’s do right? We keep pushing forward even when life is kicking us in the shins and dragging us by the wrists. We push through the tears and find a way to bring peace into our lives even if that peace is only of comfort to others. We are the toughest of the bunch because we know that little eyes are watching our every move and expecting us to forever stand tall. We do all of this, but to be honest we need to do more. We need to take care of our emotional well-being regardless of how challenging life becomes. We are strong women, but all of that strength comes with a price. Pretending that everything is okay while forcing a smile is simply not the answer. Sometimes we have to ask for help. Sometimes we have to talk to someone. Sometimes we have to remove the mask and confess that we are falling apart. We have to toss our cape to the side and admit that we can’t be a superhero to everybody all of the time. We have to admit that we matter!
I don’t know what else 2018 has in store for my life. What I do know, however, is that my feelings should be expressed and not hidden in order to keep those around me content. I’ve chosen to take care of myself and stop feeling as though everything requires a smile. I’ve decided to address the pain that troubles me daily and provide myself with enough time to heal. I now find myself searching for peace during a time of turmoil instead of simply wishing for it. I’ve made the decision to start living every minute of everyday like my happiness matters.
Brandi currently resides in Jacksonville, Florida and is mom to her beautiful daughter MacKenzie. She is the author and creator of the blog MacKenzieStyle.com where she shares her thoughts on parenting as well as beauty and fashion trends. Brandi is a firm believer that becoming a parent shouldn't completely change who you are and believes that it's important to love yourself post-baby. She is most passionate about fashion and being an inspiration to her readers as they travel along their own style journey.