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Challenge: I Feel Bad About...

I'm Too Tired for Sex

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I recently fell in love with Rachel Hollis and her new book “Girl Wash Your Face.” In the book she shares how she and her husband had sex every single day in September and called it “Sexy September.” They did this to help with their intimacy and all around closeness. I loved that she did this and I loved hearing how helpful it was to their relationship. Since the babies birth I think sex has been one of our biggest struggles that has required so much intention, which is probably why I have talked about it a few times in this space. In the triplets first year of life, I’m not even kidding, we had sex maybe 5 times. It was the LAST thing I had on my mind and part of me was so nervous every time we had sex because my body was so different. Fast forward 3.5 years later and I’m still so damn tired and my body is still so different. Part of me felt like I had to learn how to feel beautiful and sexy in my new mom body.
However, more than anything, the exhaustion is so wearing. I hate to admit, but sometimes having sex feels like a chore. I can’t be the only one? But then when you do finally do it, it is so good. After reading t he book I was inspired and determined to try our own version of “sexy September,” only we called it “Naughty November.” We were on a roll for the first 3 days. Yep, just 3 days. And then I got my period and I lost my mojo and I was over emotional, didn’t want Ryan to touch me, and period sex is just not for me. So we had 3 days in a row of intentional sex and it was great. While we didn’t make it every single day I truly believe being intentional about sex and making more time for it is so important for your marriage. I know for us, being physical connects us in a deeper way, but I have to say sometimes I am just so tired. There are many times I would rather just sleep and be alone. And I’ve also learned to call that grace. We have to find grace in our exhaustion and in our lacking. Sometimes we go through seasons. My first year as a Mom was a sexless season. But it’s okay. And sometimes I am too tired for sex. And it’s okay. But I also know that it is important to be intentional about our intimacy.

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