I have to be honest- Father's Day is my LEAST favorite holiday of the year.
I dislike it with the same intensity that people who are perpetually single, hate Valentine's Day.
I usually avoid social media, so I don't have to see all the happy people, posting about their wonderful dads.
Growing up, all I ever wanted was to be a Daddy's girl.
I wanted to have my dad adore me. I wanted to have him wrapped around my finger.
I wanted him to let me dance on the tops of his shoes.
I wanted him to put me on his shoulders, so he could show me the world.
I wanted him to scoop me up and protect me from all the pain and sadness in the world.
I wanted him to tell me I was beautiful, smart, strong.
I wanted him to think that no boy was ever good enough for his little girl.
I wanted him to want to take me on dates, to show me how I deserved to be treated.
I wanted him to be my safe place, my protector, my Daddy.
Father's Day reminds me that he isn't and never was any of those things.
He showed me the world alright. He taught me to be afraid, before I understood what fear was.
He taught me to be the adult he couldn't be, before I ever got the chance to be a child.
He taught me that his needs, his impulses and reactions were all that mattered and to walk on eggshells to avoid them.
He taught me not to cry.
He taught me to live a lie because noone would believe I was a victim.
He taught me to doubt myself at every turn.
He taught me that I had to have my own back, because he never would.
He taught me to never want anyone to provide for any of my needs, because it came at a price.
This world that he brought me into, I didn't want to live in it anymore...so I tried to take myself out. He wouldn't have shed a single tear.
So for all the girls and women out there, who had a very flawed father....can I just tell you something?!
You DESERVE to be loved, adored and doted on. There is NOTHING wrong with you!
You are not inherently unlovable.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are worthy. You deserve shelter, protection and provision.
You deserve to be the apple of your father's eye.
And guess what?! That is EXACTLY how God your Father feels about you!
Tomorrow and all the days after, let's all be God's girls together, okay? 🥰🥰🥰