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Daddy Duty Double Standard

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My husband and I recently went grocery shopping as a family of four (yes this is the stuff nightmares are made of). We decided to divide and conquer to try and be as efficient as possible. He took one little one with him and I had a little one with me. He was gone five minutes to get bottled water and, in that time, span he was offered help by two different people. You guys... I have been grocery shopping by myself with two little ones, one having a melt down and the other “helping” while I pushed the cart with my hip, and no one has so much as offered to hold a door open.

I have flown with both girls by myself from Tennessee to Pennsylvania. I had the process down to a T but it still required me to carry all the things and a baby. I would be practically carrying the diaper bag in my teeth due to all the things required when traveling with littles, but we would make it. My husband flew once with just my older daughter when she was two. When he got back immediately talked about how helpful everyone was and I looked at him like he had two heads. Helpful? That’s not the experience I had especially at that particular airport ::cough Philly cough::. He had people move the line markers for him, help him with his bags and all the things.

Here is the craziest part of all of this. The helpers along the way were all women. Why aren’t we helping each other through the chaos? We all know and acknowledge that parenting is the most challenging job we have so why are we letting each other struggle. Can you imagine how much smoother/easier/happier things would be if we helped fellow moms out along the way?

We, as moms, also have to be willing to accept the help. When my husband was deployed, I would go grocery shopping with My daughter. This particular store would offer to carry out your groceries. Not once did I accept that help during that time. I’m honestly not entirely sure why. Having someone carry my groceries while holding a toddler doing a backbend is not a sign of weakness. It is smart! I eventually started accepting the help and the trips became slightly easier.

I guess it boils down to this. When I see a fellow mom struggle, I will help her out the best I can. And I will accept help along the way. Because I want to live in a world where we treat each other as good as we do a dad with a baby.


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