"Can we talk more about God?"
That's what my four-year-old asked me at bedtime last night.
And the night before.
And the night before that.
She's no doubt seeking
an understanding of Him,
how He created people,
and what He is supposed to mean to us.
"How did God create himself if he wasn't created yet?" she asks.
"What does God look like?" she wants to know.
"Does God wear clothes? And, if the answer is 'no,' then why is he naked all the time?"
Some of her questions make me chuckle,
most make me smile,
and many make me proud.
But, for quite a few of them, I don't have the right answer.
I'm a mama who doesn't belong to a congregation, but still goes to church in my heart and head many times a day.
I'm a mama who doesn't read the bible and never bought my kids their own, but still tries to follow many of its teachings I can recall from my youth.
I'm a mama who needs Jesus but could not, would not and doesn't to engage in an enlightening conversations about Him because when it comes to our history and His history, I'm pretty admittedly (perhaps embarrassingly?) under-informed.
I'm a God-believing mama, but I also believe in the healing and helping power of
a well-timed joke,
a couple cups of coffee,
a few glasses of wine,
an Amaretto Sour,
some sushi dinner,
a giant ribeye,
and some garbage tv.
And, do you know what?
and finding enjoyment and healing power in lots of things
doesn't make me less
and faithful to the belief that
God is anything you want and need him to be whenever you want him to need and be it,
He's there for each of us no matter or who tells or makes us feel differently,
He is there when He's needed, and even when He's not,
and He'll never leave us, because He's in our heads and our hearts and He hears each of us even when we're not speaking.
You see, my kid's newfound curiosity in the Holy Father, it means that she is ready and longing for a spiritual journey all her own.
Not one I relentlessly enforce, but one that she carefully (and even somewhat carelessly) creates over time.
When it comes to life and our kid's relationship with God, they aren't looking to mimic some ideal version of what a perfect relationship with Him is supposed to look like;
they're just looking for a little direction,
a flexible roadmap,
and love from you, their mama, which reminds them of God's love for all his children.