Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Open Discussion

A reminder from my daughter about living in the moment

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


My daughter needed another set of arms the other day while we were at lunch, and seeing as I have a couple to lend, she asked for my help.

Being a creative, she is always scanning the world for interesting ways to express life and all it’s beauty. I don’t even remember what she was holding here, but it was important for her that she capture these items in the palm of her hands, from an overhead view, looking down onto this marble table, in just the right lighting, at a precise angle. You know, simple and uncomplicated.

Obviously, I agreed to be her arms and an extra set of eyes to take the picture. The problem is, I apparently can’t see even with progressives on because I kept angling the phone wrong and taking off-center pictures. But because she could see exactly what I was doing wrong in real-time on the iPhone screen, it was easy for her to guide my steps until I captured exactly what her mind envisioned.

I tell this story because although I was happy to help her out, something else happened. In the midst of all the tinkering with getting the picture taken according to her desires, some of the other patrons in the restaurant began to stare at us. My girl didn’t notice because she was dialed in on creating her masterpiece. I, on the other hand, became distracted and overly concerned about what other people were thinking. This caused me to rush through the process, making it more difficult to accomplish.

After we finished, I smiled and waved to the onlookers. My daughter looked at me and said, “Wait. Are you embarrassed right now?”

To which I sheepishly admitted I kinda was.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Because they were staring at us, I guess.”

“Who cares?”

Exactly. Why did I care so much? Why couldn’t I just be “all in” during the moment with my daughter?

The answer is because I am still growing in self-love and confidence. I’m still learning not to worry about what others think. What a gift to have a 22 year old who shares my DNA remind me of what’s really important. She was guiding more than my hands that day as I held the phone. She was guiding my heart as well.

Besides, maybe the people in the restaurant were looking at us in admiration. Maybe they were taken aback by the love displayed between mother and daughter. It’s amazing how easy it is to assume people are thinking something negative.

Which is why we all fare better by not thinking so much, choosing instead to focus on the "being."

It’s in the being that love always sits.

Thank you, daughter.


If you are dealing with all kinds of momma emotions, download 3 FREE Chapters of Shelby's new book with Lisa Leshaw, How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.").

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.