My husband and I found out we were pregnant January 1st, 2008 with our first child. This was everything I had ever wanted and I was so happy and joyous I could burst. Our son was born in August, only 1 day after his due date, no complications and the easiest labor I could have imagined. As I was leaving the hospital, I expected life to be as perfect as I had expected it to be 8 months earlier when I first found out. I expected everything to just "come together" because it should.
Those first few weeks were not quite what I had imagined. My husband was still working every day and slept in the living room at night so the baby wouldn't wake him up. My family had to work also, I was on my own with my beautiful baby boy and it was overwhelming. What's worse is I didn't immediately feel that bond and connection I had hoped for. I'd look into his blue eyes and expect to feel this motherly swoon come over me but it wasn't there. I would lay around at home, not knowing what to do to make my baby stop crying, feeling like a horrible parent because he wasn't the light of my life and all I wanted to do was sleep. I started to wonder if parenthood was a good idea after all.
Almost 7 years later, I can say with 100% certainty that parenthood is what I wanted for my life. My son is absolutely the light of my life. We have another little boy who is 1 year old and my family (while chaotic) is perfect for me.
Those first few weeks can be tough. You may have certain expectations of what life will be like. You may not know what to do and feel that you have no one to help you. You may feel down and depressed, whether it be from postpartum depression, lack of sleep or excess hormones. Just know that it will get better. Children are life's greatest joy and you will cherish them. Maybe not now, but later is OK too.