Age is just a number, right?
I guess that’s why I am often shocked into reality when I have to answer the dreaded question — how old are you? I like to think that I will forever be 28, but the harsh reality is that I am, indeed, 42 years old; when I am forced to utter those words out loud, I almost always pause for a minute as if to say: who, me — 42?
If you are like me and sometimes forget just how many years of life you have endured, here are some reminders that you are most definitely getting older:
- You catch yourself saying things like in my day and when I was your age.
- You can’t help but notice that all moms of babies and toddlers are SO young – you don't remember being that young as a new mom!
- Before getting your annual dental X-rays, the dentist asks if there is any chance you may be pregnant — and you are TOTALLY flattered!
- Your Google history includes things like symptoms of a hot flash, how much does Botox cost and is it true that your nose never stops growing?
- You catch a decent-looking guy checking you out in the grocery store only to realize he’s got his eyes on your teenage daughter!
- The heartthrobs from your teenage years are now playing grandfathers on your kids’ favorite shows. But not that Uncle Jesse — he's still got it, doesn’t he?
- You catch your reflection in passing and wonder if those are new wrinkles or a full-blown ‘stache above your upper lip.
- Retirement anxiety sets in and you lose sleep over things like 401(k)s and 403(b)s.
- So does the fear (and dread) of losing your own parents.
- You wonder if it is possible to get a bladder transplant — because you really, really want to sleep through the night!
- You just don’t have it in you to be happy for Jennifer Lopez because … well, age doesn’t cure jealousy. Come on, who looks that good at 50?
- You wonder what the hell it means to slide into someone’s DM and could it possibly be as fun as it sounds?
- You just can’t sleep past 6:30 a.m. Ever.
- You are now that mom — the one who doesn’t know the songs on the radio or what a VSCO girl is or how the hell to open the Snap Map. You do, however, remember when Camo was cool the first time around.
- You finally understand the sentiment of Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days, as you sing along and reminisce about the younger years that you will never get back.
- You have finally mastered the art of living in the moment because damn, those 40 years went by way too quickly.
- You finally DGAF (I know, I know, what does that mean? It means: don’t give a F%&*!) what other people think about you — because after 40 or so years, you finally love yourself. And you worked damn hard to make that happen.
- Chances are you are pretty darn old if you are still reading this post!