As a sexual assault victim I am very sensitive to the "apologies" that are being flung around the internet. I generally don't read them. I don't engage in the arguments or the drama that surround a predator. It is often too painful.
During a conversation with friends today I felt compelled to read the following statement by Louis CK. I will admit I was a fan of his work. He used to make me laugh.
I'm not laughing anymore, Louis.
Thank you for taking responsibility for your actions. Thank you for not blaming your victims. Except...
You pretty much said you didn't understand the power you had over these women. Um. Bullshit. So, you aren't blaming them, but what are you doing?
Your apology is very well written. You sound as though you're saying all the things someone would want to hear. The problem is we don't want to hear it.
We want it to never have happened in the first place.
I think it will be easy for people to get sucked into the "I'm taking responsibility" that you are dealing, but who cares? If I run over you with my car, I can take responsibility all I want. I can say I'm sorry. You are still run over and dead. To me this is so much worse. This kind of pain does not end.
You are an actor. It is your job to weave a spell. I was a fan. I'll be honest. I expected to be sickened when I read your words. Then, there was no denial. Well, that's nice, Louis. On behalf of all of us, thanks.
Wait. Screeching halt!
I literally shook my head to get rid of the fog because are you fucking kidding me, Dude?! It doesn't matter what you say now. It just doesn't. In the seconds it took you to commit these acts - repeatedly - you impacted the lives of 5 (THAT WE KNOW OF!) women who will never be the same. Never. Your actions will reach into every aspect of their lives for as long as they are alive.
They will never be completely rid of the trauma that is YOU.
People will say "he shouldn't have said anything, he should have said more, he can't win, blah, blah, blah." The bottom line is no one should care how you feel. You are the criminal, not the victim. The public shouldn't care if you are sorry. They shouldn't care if you are hurting.
Because you caused it all in the first place.