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Challenge: I Feel Bad About...

You can't raise a child to be a "good" adult if you force them to adult in their childhood

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We expect our kids to act like adults.

And, I say "we" to make myself feel better cause, me, I am "we."

On a far too regular basis, I desire (and let's be real here, semi-require) that my kids

always show respect,

use their manners consistently,

listen attentively and responsively,

be rational,


control their emotions

-- just like an adult would (AHEM, should).

But, guess who doesn't always show respect to the tiny humans in her lives?


Guess who doesn't always use her manners consistently?


Guess who struggles at listening attentively and responsively?





And, I'm rarely rational, and holy heck, I ride the #strugglebus when it comes to keeping my emotions in check and expressing them clearly and calmy.

How can you raise your child to be a "good" adult if you force them to adult in their childhood?

You can't.

Your expectations are unrealistic, and because of their age and stage of brain development, they will fail to live up to your behavior standards on the daily.

All I know is this --

I screw up so much as a mother, and I don't always learn from my mistakes.

I've been preaching about yelling less for years now and surprise, surprise,




It sucks to admit.

But, I'm making progress, little by little.

And, so are our kids, and that's what we need to remember.

We live in such a "here and now" world --

I have to be better here and now or I'm screwed.

They have to act better here and now or they are screwed as adults.




If I can't get adulting right and I've been on this earth for thirty-three years, why in the hell would I expect and practically mandate that my eight, five and three-year-old be "on point" every freakin' second of the day?

I shouldn't, and I'm not going to anymore.

Here's to me letting my kids kid it up more, without getting in trouble for it.

Here's to me accepting that if anyone should be focusing on becoming a more competent, adaptable, and unconditionally kind adult, it needs to be me.

Our kids will all turn out fine, and that's apparent because somehow, someway they know to forgive and dole out grace to us for our parenting missteps day after day after day.

Do you know who it is I worry about?

It's us grown folk.

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