Now with a title like, “Why My Husband Has To Share Me With Another Man“, I’m sure you are already reading this and wondering what the heck is going on over at that house.
Well after I got home from going out to dinner recently my husband asked such a simple yet powerful question that really got me thinking, so I thought I would give you a little insight into our unique family dynamic.
The question he asked was, “How was family dinner?”
Family dinner with Rick, Reece & I at the Melting Pot.
I know that question may not seem all that deep to you, but it holds a lot of meaning in our blended family.
See, my son’s father, Rick, and I haven’t been in a relationship since not too long after our son Reece was born (almost 13 years). Before Reece came along we were together for about 6 years, from when I was only 17 years old.
I will admit that after Rick and I first split up there was a lot of tension, anger and hurt feelings, which took a couple of years to work through, but the one thing we always had in common and put first was our unconditional love and complete admiration for our son Reece.
I got married to my husband Keith when Reece was 3 years old, and in full disclosure Keith was always aware of and a huge proponent of my relationship with Rick, as he only ever wants the best for Reece and I.
When Reece was younger he used to stay with his Dad every other weekend, but as he got older and started going to school, became involved in sports, extra curricular activities and developed a social life, it became harder for Reece to stay with Rick, as we live about 45 minutes away from each other.
Instead of Rick getting upset and us arguing over time with Reece, or trying to keep up with some schedule that might not be beneficial for Reece, we decided that the three of us would meet for family dinner every week. This would give us a chance, especially now as Reece has gotten older, to talk with Reece about school, sports, friends, and just whatever is on his mind together as a family, so he knows that we are both always there to support and love him, even though we aren’t together. We both agreed a long time ago that we may not be in a relationship, but we want Reece to know that we are always going to be family.
Family dinner and various outings have become such a ritual in our blended family, and sometimes even my daughter Tatum joins us, as Rick adores her as if she was his own daughter and she adores him right on back.
Rick, our son Reece and my daughter Tatum at Dutch Wonderland.
I love when people see our family out together (me, Keith, Rick, Reece and Tatum), and we all get a good chuckle watching other people try to figure out our family dynamic. People are even more surprised when they discover that Rick and Keith are actually friends.
Do you really want to know why my husband has to share me with another man?
Because life can be very much like a roller coaster ride. Some days there are ups and some days there are downs. Life isn’t always what you think or plan it to be. I never planned to have a child as early in life as I did, and I also never planned on having a child and not being married and having to co-parent.
Co-parenting is not always easy, but I have learned a very important lesson along this journey, that you should never regret something that once made you smile.
Rick and I sending Reece off to a week away at Cadet Camp.
Rick and I attending Reece’s 4th grade celebration.
My husband Keith is thankfully the most selfless person I know, and he has always understood and even jokes that he has to share me with another man, Rick, because he is our family. He is my son’s father and I wouldn’t trade that or our relationship for the world. Rick is my best friend and I am so happy that we are able to raise our son surrounded in complete support, positivity and love.
Please leave a comment and share your favorite parenting or co-parenting tip with me.