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Challenge: WHO Are You?

Why Moms Lose Their Identity and How to Get It Back

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No matter what you do, you can never truly be prepared to become a mother. Once you have kids, you will no longer be the person that you once were. Although this may sound like it’s a bad thing – it’s not! You will go through a beautiful process of self-discovery to figure out who the new you is. This happened to me and now I’m at a place in my life where I know that I’m not only the amazing person I once was, but now I’m a proud mother of three children as well.

Nevertheless, I did go through a long time period during which I completely forgot who I was. Even though I had a business that I ran, my main focus was being a good mother. That’s all that I would think about. I just knew that being a good mom was the most important job in the whole world. When I had my first kid, life became chaotic and I was struggling to find some free time. Then three years later, my second son was born. I worked from home, so I was there for my kids whenever they needed me. But I was just completely exhausted.

Whenever my husband and I got a babysitter to watch the kids so we could relax for a while, I wouldn’t know how to think about anything besides my kids and my small business. I started feeling anxious and depressed because I had completely forgotten who I was. I realized that I didn’t have control in most parts of my life and that made me panic. I kept remembering all the fun things I used to do and the type of social life I had. This helped me figure out that I needed to start caring about myself again.

To this day my life revolves around my kids, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t do something fun with my friends every once in a while. It doesn’t mean that I should stop caring about how I look. After my first son was born, I just stopped putting makeup on most days and didn’t bother dressing nice.

Now that I have three kids and have been a mother for ten years, I try to look amazing as possible every day. I buy new clothes and try all kinds of beauty makeup products because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel confident. If you haven’t treated yourself to something nice in a while, go shopping as soon as you have the time. Buy yourself something nice like a new dress, necklace or watch. You can find many different watch styles for women nowadays. Trust me, buying just one thing for yourself will feel amazing.

If you’re a good mother, your kids will be the most important thing in the world to you. But you shouldn’t allow that to lead to an identity crisis. I went through it and I truly hope my readers don’t. The best type of advice I can give you is to never stop caring about yourself. Being too busy to socialize, travel, go to a movie theater or do any other type of fun activity will only make you feel lonely. This isolation may lead to mental health problems like depression. If this happens, you won’t be there for your children.

Remember that your kids need to see you happy and need you to teach them how to take care of themselves. Know that they will constantly analyze your behavior and try to imitate it, so it’s important to set a good example for them! Teach them how important they are to you but also show them what it means to have a good social life and how to be happy.

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