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Challenge: Parenting Resolutions

Why is your child’s assessment not the main thing?

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All parents want their children to do well. In our understanding, “to study well” most often means to receive the “90’s” and “80’s”. In many schools, it is customary to give grades in each lesson, for homework, for oral answers, for independent and control work, from elementary grades to the last call.

In many countries, such a system was abandoned, and grades are given only for verification work tests and exams. Which is better? Perhaps it is worth keeping the child in good shape, encouraging him with good grades and whipping up bad ones? And then suddenly he relaxes and cannot pass the test decently? Or still, given the opportunity to study quietly. So, what's good and what's bad in daily grades?

How do grades motivate the student?


It is believed that having received a bad mark, the child will think about the level of his own knowledge and will want to improve it. That is why schoolchildren receive their first grades in primary grades not for knowledge, but for handwriting and purity in notebooks. It was at this time that the children's attitude to grades began to take shape.

The fact is that not everyone can immediately write beautifully and accurately. The child begins an endless struggle with pens and notebooks, with his own temperament and natural data. Also, children struggle with disapproval of the teacher and reproaches of the parents. Other children can, but why don’t you try?

The child would be happy to try, but miracles do not happen in a second. Today he wrote a little better essay and assignment than yesterday, but still not as perfect as his classmate XYZ. And again, he gets 40% only.

As a result, instead of correcting the handwriting, the child does nothing, because he does not believe in success. This is a habit, an absolutely indifferent attitude to grades and generally to education system formed, which is very difficult to change.

What should parents do if they already see a problem with handwriting and constantly lowered grades in elementary grades?

First, wait to rebuke the child.

Better to support him and cheer. Explain to him that poor grades do not mean that he is unable to learn and that he will never succeed. You (parents) need to move slowly, and sooner or later the ratings will also improve.

Secondly, do not react violently to each assessment.

Of course, you need to deal with dirt in notebooks and crooked handwriting, but consider the characteristics of the child. Perhaps you can just close your eyes to something. Pay attention first to knowledge, and secondly to handwriting. Decide what is more important to you. Some adults have not learned to write legibly, but that does not make them dumber.

Can ratings be only good?

Assessments for knowledge are certainly more important for the education process. The older the student, the more subjects appear in the program, and all these subjects are necessarily evaluated.

The child has been getting 90% or 80%, and suddenly the 40% appears. What's happening? Parents are unhappy, the child is upset. Do not rush to blame the child for laziness or blame everything on adolescence. Try to remember yourself and your friends. Did you understand and love all the objects equally?

Of course, there are children whose school curriculum is easy to learn. They equally understand the algebra, chemistry, English and biology. It also happens, but not always. No need to put talented children as an example, driving your own child into uncertainty. It’s better to talk about what exactly isn’t working.

If the child is a clearly expressed humanitarian, the exact sciences may not respond well to him. Or vice versa - mathematicians hardly talk about literature. In this case, you can focus on what really works. The rest is maintained at an average level. Of course, you cannot allow 40%, it certainly will not improve the certificate and will not help with admission.

If something is not going catastrophically, it is better to agree on additional activities so as not to start the subject completely. But do not rest against estimates. 90% in history, literature, but 50% in chemistry, algebra, and physics? Well what to do. Choose humanitarian professions with your child.

Own grading system? Why not?

In order not to worry about each low grade and understand how to succeed in school, you can agree with the child on a scale of important, less important and not at all important. Based on this scale, build not only your attitude to grades but also an understanding of the education process in general.

How to do it?

Decide what the child chooses among school subjects. Throw all the main forces in this direction. Here, follow the grades, do not miss anything important, pump knowledge and skills. Other items, even if they occupy only the second place in importance, still keep under control, try not to run. At least in order to pass exams and get a decent certificate. The rest of the grades - for forgotten notebooks, blots, sloppiness and so on - do not discount at all but do not make a tragedy from each.

Of course, the choice of a field of knowledge should not be done in the first class. Usually, the child's tendencies become clear closer to high school. Prior to self-determination, it is worthwhile to work intensively in the humanities, and the exact, and natural sciences in order to better understand yourself and your goals. The main thing that both children and parents would like to understand at school is that grades are far from the scale of most important in education. Understanding is more important!

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