“I’m always tired. Being a mom has made me so tired,” I yawn to my partner.
Because being a mom has made me so tired.
And it’s more than exhaustion from getting up with my children at all hours of the night, though I do have that, too.
I’m tired of society telling me what I should look like: that my body needs to "bounce back" when it has birthed, nursed, scarred, and torn.
I’m tired of the mental load falling all upon my shoulders. Because my partner adds his hair gel to the list of things we need for the house while I have to remember the 10,000 other things, and it’s a heavy burden to carry.
I’m tired of being expected to be superhuman when I'm only human.
I’m tired of the guilt I feel about every move I make.
I’m tired of everyone’s opinions about what I should be doing when it comes to my kids.
I’m tired of the constant whining and someone crying every hour.
I’m tired of looking into the mirror after a long day and looking and feeling like I got hit by a car.
I'm tired of being so hard on myself: for the mom-guilt, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I can be my own worst critic.
I'm tired of not finishing anything: conversations with friends, my lunch, and an important email.
But I’m not tired of my children’s soft kisses on my face,
the middle of the night cuddles,
the I love yous.
watching my children play a game of make-believe together,
watching them be kind without prompted,
and watching their faces light up when they achieve milestones.
Because the truth is,
sometimes I’m tired of motherhood,
but I'll never be tired of my children.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId
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