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Challenge: WHO Are You?

Who Am I? Someone Who Peed on the Floor (As an Adult)

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I am about to publicly announce something that is going to earn me a butt load of dirty looks at drop off this morning. Likely, this overshare of mine will also, let’s just say, not have the hubby itching for a piece…of my heart of course.

Speaking of hearts, well that’s what got me into this position in the first place. Yep, that sweet little 6 lbs. 9 oz. baby girl popped her way out of my belly, (ha, if only it was so easy that they just ‘popped’ right out of there) after 22 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, right into my welcoming heart. Be still that heart, after of course it stopped racing — my beautiful, perfect, angelic baby doll was here to stay. I was enthralled with her. I still am, and always will be.

That first day was filled with lots of tears; some happy ones, and some caused by the pain from her suckles on my cracked, bleeding (eew, gross) nipples. But, do you know what else that day was filled with? More than confusion, more than excitement, more than sheer terror, and more than exhaustion? It was laughter.

And do you want to know why I was laughing? I’ll tell you.

So, you know how babies when they are first born have that meconium poop which comes out with their first few craps? Well, I was changing the world’s most perfect baby’s diaper because it was wet from pee (or so I thought). As I struggled through one of my first diaper changes, with my husband standing by my side overseeing the process, our little lady decided to release a meconium geyser aimed right at us as I held her two chubby little legs in the air. It was literally like a volcano erupting, and due to our shock at the unexpected site and smell of it, I could no longer hold my post-delivery weak bladder — and you guessed it, yep, I started peeing. And not just like a tinkle, but a full on 2-minute pee. Mind you, I was still laughing and trying to shield the meconium from hitting our faces by blocking the eruption with those super non-absorbent hospital baby wipes.

And, you’ll never guess what happened next… A knock at the door. Who could it be?

Oh, you know, only those well-meaning and super-excited family members coming to meet the new addition.

So, what did we do? Well, I asked my husband to clean up my pee, while I continued to clean up our newborn.

It was a moment that neither of us will ever forget. And now that I have shared the utterly gross, yet hilarious details with you, I don’t think you’ll forget either.

That day in the hospital, we were on the receiving end of something (okay, many somethings) unexpected. But most notably we were driven to spontaneous laughter, which we now realize is necessary to get through all of parenthood.

And for that reason, I will always be grateful for that time I peed on the floor.

Now, I’m not saying you have to pee on the floor, but I do want for you to spontaneously laugh, as it will surely help you get through parenthood and life.

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