When your oldest is no longer the baby, your heart feels like it might burst.
And it kinda does, as sentimental tears spill out and wash away what once was. You brace yourself for uncharted waters. You search for footing and beg God to calm you.
Yet, there’s only one of you. You try the math in your head and are left wondering how it’s even possible to love them more. And yet each the same.
One needs you still.
Still, one needs you a bit more.
And you reconsider what being used up means.
There’s only one of me.
Outnumbered by them.
And you begin to sense failure; like there’s not enough of mama to go around.
But, Mama, you need to know that’s not failure at all.
It’s pouring out all you’ve been given to raise up the precious souls entrusted to your care.
It’s stepping down and surrendering and inviting God to make this journey more about Him. His family. His kids.
Embracing brotherly love.
Grace upon grace for ourselves, too.
Over the years, I’ve watched three of our babies welcome a younger sibling into our pack. They’ve responded with both affection and battles for attention.
They’ve learned to say “Buh-buh” and share Daddy and Mama. They take up for each other and are proud of each other and will grow up knowing someone else always has their backs.
And as time goes on, I reflect on how far we’ve come. I think on how my heart just keeps right on growing as they do.
And I thank God for all the chances I’ve been gifted to love them more. And yet each the same.
Words by: Jaclyn Warren of Mommys15Minutes. For more encouragement and love follow along at Mommys15Minutes on Facebook and on Instagram at @Mommys15Minutes.