Photo took in November 2014

Some of you who are reading this are probably thinking why anyone would feel good about themselves before they look good. I personally, can say that about myself.

Let me introduce myself. I am a 31 year old single mother of seven precious kids that I love and adore. I work full time as a physical therapy tech and is trying to better myself every day. I got married at 16 and had my first child at 17 and from there, I kept having kids up until 2009. So pretty much I was pregnant every year since I got married. With the first child I can say I got so much support from my husband, because it was our first and we were excited. I was pushing myself to finish high school. When I graduated in 2002, I was already 8 months pregnant with my second daughter.

Trust me, do I think I look good after giving birth to a baby…..of course not. Women who has given birth know how I feel about my body. We get stretch marks on our belly, breast and thighs that will probably never go away. Also, your abdominal still looks like you’re still a few months pregnant. Despite all of how bad we look, that was not how we were really feeling. We are actually happy to see our newborn baby and bonding with them. We are too focus on how much love, we as mother, are going to give and provide for the baby. At that certain time, we tend to not worry so much about getting back into shape.

Photo took in 2009 when they were younger

Photo took in 2010

After graduating I enroll myself for college courses online and so I can stay home with my kids. Every year since then I have been pregnant up until 2009 when I had my last. She is my miracle baby I call her. I will have that story about her in the future. Every child I had all have their own challenges, but once you hear their cry and see their face all you worries, pain just fades away and melts your heart. You think to yourself “wow…they are so precious and innocent! I can’t help myself, but just to fall in love with them the moment you hear their cry.” I was able to see all of their first steps to their first words. I was able to attend their first day of school with them and go to field trips with them. I taught them to ride their bikes for the first time. I done everything a parent should have done with their kids. I was very blessed to have such great kids. I remember just potting training my eldest and the rest of the kids just started to follow her. So you can imagine me just running around the house chasing the kids and cleaning after them.

In 2007, after having six kids my relationship with my husband was going downhill due to his feelings for me, they weren’t the same as when he had met me. So that year we had filed for divorce and I agree to stay with him for another four years to see if things would be better. All those years of being a wife and a mother, not a single day do I not think of bettering myself for my kids and husband. I did not have friends who I could hangout with at the time so I didn’t need to think about how I wanted to look like in a specific way. I was home with the kids most of the time and would transport them to and from school. Cook and clean like a wife would do for their family. Within those 4 years I was able to get my Associate degree in Healthcare Management and continue with my Bachelor degree. Also was able to attend a few semesters of college courses on campus to get certified for nurse assistant. So I learned to just manage my time wisely, risking my time I have alone (meaning sleeping time or kids nap time) to study and do homework.

“A MOTHER's LOVE is Patient and forgiving when all others are Forsaking, it never Fails or Falters even though the HEART is breaking.....” -Helen Rice-

In 2009, when I was 38 weeks pregnant with my last baby I also started a new job as a certified nurse aid working 3^rd shift. Three days into my training I went into labor and had my baby. Everything went smoothly and went back to work after two week. The summer of 2012 after my kids were out of school; I finally took the kids and left town to stay with my parents in a different town, because of all the issues my ex-husband and I was having. My ex was not capable of caring for the kids by himself plus the kids did not want to stay with him either. I went on to live with my parents for a few months then got a place of my own for my kids and me. At the same time I was finishing up my last year of my bachelor degree course online and on campus. It wasn’t easy, but I kept looking more towards my kids, it gives me the courage to push myself to work harder for them just so they can be happy and give them what I never had. I knew that we did not have much but were happier as a family and gotten closer with each other. Not only was my kids and I are closer but we felt like we were free from being a prisoner of our own home. I was able to take my kids out to places and we had gotten closer to my side of the family too. We were not able to do that when we were living with my ex. Now thinking back to how my ex has treated us, he wasn’t happy having us in his life but was actually ashamed of having us. There are times he would tell people (whom he doesn’t even know) that he only has 3 kids when he really has 7. I think to myself, how can someone be so selfish and miss out on their kid’s life and not only that but he denied some of them. That puts me to shame. He was only thinking of himself. I was glad that while I was with him, that I made some great decisions to put my kids need first and pushed myself to full extent. So now I don’t have to depend on anyone but myself.

Just last year my ex decided he was done with paying child support and fled the country without saying anything to his kids. My eldest daughter was in such emotional wreck she had so much things going in her head about her dad. Her dad would usually call the kids once a week to see how they were doing and see them once a month or so. It has been two months and nothing from their dad. So I had to go over to his apartment to check, I had the police go and look but turns out his apartment was wiped out. So I told my daughter that the only place he probably gone was back to his home country…Laos. We heard he had a wife back there and left his job without letting them know either. Since my ex left we had lost our second income from him so we had to move out of our home and back with my parents, which was a pain.

Photo took 2013

As we face challenges and get through them once the next time we can get through them without a sweat. I believe that as a parent whether you’re a single parent or with both parent to your kids, you love them and give them the best no matter what. Just having people tell me how well behave and well manner my kids are; that makes me feel good that I’m doing a good job at being a single mom. My co-workers will compliment me of how stress-free I am every day when I go to work and manage to have such a happy face every day. I tell them knowing my kids are well and happy is all that it takes to make me a happy mom. They would always tell me when they needed someone to complain to about their own kids, to think about me and what I go through every day for them to not complain…Lol. There are days I go to bed crying myself to sleep because I feel so helpless at times, I but find myself pushing harder and harder every day. Always looking for new ways to help my kids to have a happier life. The happier I see my kids, the better I feel about myself. Putting my kids well-being needs before mine is making me that much happier and loving them every day unconditionally. Everyday spent with kids chasing them and cleaning after them is another source of exercise for myself….lol!!! That’s why I feel good and look good about myself…lol.