Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Life Changes

What Having Children Has Revealed Within Me

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

Having children has not changed me. I know that sounds insane because having children is earth shattering... in beautiful and not so beautiful ways, so how have I not been changed? Becoming a mother has not changed who I am because it has only revealed what has been there all along. When I brought human beings into this world and sent a piece of my heart out with them, I learned layers to myself that had somehow been forgotten.

Having Children Has Revealed my heart- Of course I've always had heart. Of course I've loved...but not like this. The heart amazes me. How can you be so sleep deprived, so hormonal, so pulled in a million directions and so overwhelmed and still have your heart beat a little faster when you look into the eyes of your children? That's the depths of a human's ability to love. It's always been there, even before I became a parent, but I now believe that one purpose of having children, is to remind us how we are all made of love. How we all have the ability to love with our hole hearts and an example of the depths of our hearts. I want to give my heart and my love and my time to others as well, because I want the world or be a more loving, accepting place for my children to grow up in. If we have the ability to feel so deeply for the souls we give birth to, somewhere deep inside is the ability to love all of human kind that deeply, my children have revealed that to me.

Having Children Has Revealed My Strength- As a parent who has a somewhat terrifying love for their children, I could spend every second of every waking moment in fear and worry of all of the things that could go wrong and all the things that already have. I think tried that out for a little while after my first was born. It doesn't work. It steals your joy and you will miss out on what is in front of you. Mamas, we are not weak. We are strong because we need to be. And if somewhere along the way you've been broken and believe yourself to be weak, it's an illusion. Look at what you would do for your child if needed, in that one thought your strength has been revealed. If I want to experience the joy that children have offer instead of the fear that so easily seems to come with being a parent, then I have to make a choice. I will always choose joy. The strength of character that comes from making daily choices to live in the moment and choose love and acceptance over fear and worry is priceless. That is a strength that is innate, it has always been there, and has now been revealed.

Having Children Has Revealed My Empathy- Everyone is someone's child. Every person once had a mother look into their eyes and want the world for them. The acceptance and love and fulfillment I want for my child is the want of each and every mother. Before I past judgment, become angry or dismissive, these thoughts always seem to play in my head. Human beings are complicated and messy. Although I can not say this 100% of the time, for the most part, having children has revealed to me just how deep my empathy can go. Just how much I can relate and feel for others based on the fact that we all come from the same place and we were all made out of love. My understanding of others has been revealed.

Having Children Has Revealed My Wonder and Excitement- This may be one of my favorite qualities that have been revealed to me through becoming a mother. Life is amazing. Nature is amazing. New experiences are amazing. Things are fun and exciting all of the time and we seem to be too jaded and clouded by all of those little things that just don't matter to see it clearly. Spend some time with a child and it'll fix that right up! I, along with I'm sure most other mothers, adore watching my children experience the world. The joy over bubbles and flowers and animals and watching trucks go by and a full moon and a beautiful sunrise and a new book and jumping into a pool and on and on and on. Life gets in the way, but the wonder and excitement my children have revealed within me, is something I intend to never let get covered up again.

Having Children Has Revealed My Patience- While the true and patient nature of my spirit has been revealed, it still likes to hide, a lot. BUT it's there and my children reveal it to me time and time again. We all have places to be and people to see and appointments and deadlines and in making sure we manage it all, we can really forget to live. Children by their true present nature, will not abide by this. Sure if we try hard enough we can raise them into adults that live this way, but if we allow them to remain who they are and let them show us how to be, we can see that although all of those other things make the world go round, what's happening right now is all that matters. I catch myself trying to rush my daughter through the car seat buckling saga when I realize the joy she derives from learning new skills, so I'm patient. I stop my self from rushing my son through eating his dinner because I realize he is telling me so much about his day that he hasn't had time to finish, so I'm patient. I stop myself from rushing our bedtime routine because how many bedtimes are left until the leave my house? So I am patient. I am patient to my core. I may act impatiently but, my children's eyes will always reveal the truth and help redirect me.

Having Children Has Revealed My Simplicity- I always say I operate in a triage fashion with having 4 small kids. If I want to maintain any kind of sanity I can only tackle the most important issue in each moment. It's enabled me to really let go of those things that just frankly don't matter. Like make-up, clothes, and the condition of my home. Sure, I understand how important it is for me to take care of my own needs, but really what becoming a mother has revealed to me is how simple my "needs" truly are. And how when I live from my heart the nonsense falls to the wayside. I still have "wants" but in triage the needs come first. The true needs of my spirit are simple and my children have revealed that to me.

Having Children Has Revealed Connection- Sure I've had friendships and relationships and bonds throughout my life but nothing has truly shown me just how connected we all are like having a child. For one the connectedness between myself and these little souls I call mine, but even more than that, what it has revealed about my relationships with others has really struck me. My relationship with my partner proves to me how much human beings need each other. How much you bond and connect over your love for another. It's breathtaking really. I know, I know. I KNOW. Relationships with our partners can be really strained once we have children, but if you choose to look at what a beautiful thing it is to share the love of a child, it's precious. I've also never felt so connected to my friends with children, my parents and in-laws and really other mothers in general. We are all one, and despite our differences, we are connected by what we desire for our children.
Changed, maybe, but only into my true nature. My children have revealed the parts that have been hidden and exposed the parts I never realized were even there.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.