Marriage, considered to be the most wonderful formally recognized union between two people, can turn into the worst dissolution of all with just a flick of a finger. And if marriage at first is between two loving people, when it ends in divorce, can also have an influence on the children conceived in that family, who are assumed to be affected by the ending mentally, physically and emotionally. Now what happens in most cases is that mothers are the ones left taking care of the children. Being a Single Mom is tough enough because of all the emotions. However, there also are legal issues that single moms might face.
First and commonly experienced legal issue is the issue of physical custody: where the child will live. Usually the decision is being made based on the advantages and disadvantages that the child will face because of the location. What if the school of the child is closer to the father’s house? As a mother, you can’t be selfish and put your child through traumatic experiences: moving to another city, changing schools, changing friends, etc. But as a mother, you also can’t leave your child. So, this one is a toughie.
The more important, or the “giving more power” to the parents is the issue of legal custody. Don’t mix it with physical custody. Legal custody determines who is the one making decisions for the child. Usually both parents get legal custody, meaning joint legal custody. This means they both have a say in what medical care the child should be on, what religious beliefs the child should follow, what professional path the child should take for himself/herself.
MORE: What is International Adoption and What are the Requirements?
Even the word might make you feel uncomfortable. It is a different thing to raise your child with your loved one, your partner and a whole different thing to do it all with someone you broke up with and share no loving and caring feeling anymore. The good news is that you can make co-parenting plans, which will help you both figure out a strategy, a mechanism to co-exist together and get along.
Raising a child alone can be too hard on you. However if you can get the biological father legally recognized this will help you to gain child custody, child support, inheritance, medical history access and a bunch of other legal rights.
MORE: What Are Father’s Rights in California?
Parental Alienation Syndrome
This is one of the legal issues single moms might face. Because of the divorce your children might start acting out: not taking your words too seriously. You shouldn’t take your kid’s resentment too personally, because it is not about you. Usually, when both parents have child custody and they don’t have a very nice relationship the result can be parents bad-mouthing about each other. All you have to do to keep everyone happy and sane is to be civil with each other and communicate more.
It all might seem really difficult in the beginning: making sure you raise your child to be the best version of himself/herself and at the same time not forgetting to take care of yourself. But there are perks of being a single mother too: it is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears, but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.
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