Welcome to planet Motherhood.
There are many ways to land on this planet.
It can be through your own womb, adoption or surrogacy.
All of us have gotten to this place where little people refer to us as “mommy” multiple times a day.
All of us have gotten to this place of no boundaries and using our own hands as tissues.
All of us have gotten to this place of it being a luxury to go to the bathroom alone.
Population: one mommy to however many kids (at least one.)
On this planet, we live by the clock — trying to get everyone from one place to another. Down for breakfast. At school on time. To the baby’s class. Nap-time. The list goes on and on. Bedtime. The clock is your lifeline.
These aliens that call us mama, well, they suck our souls. They need us to do everything.
We are their garbage disposal.
We are their personal chef.
We are their maid service.
We even wipe their needy little butts.
We are needed, needed, needed.
They go through a million phases too.
The baby phase, where they are completely adorable, but you aren’t sleeping much: Your nipples feel raw, and you’re learning the ways of your alien, while your alien most likely has colic, so is cranky beyond explanation.
The toddler phase, where they are impossible and irrational:
Toddler: “I want Mulan.”
Toddler: “I want Word Party” < You put on Word Party.>
Toddler: “No, Mulan!”
You: “I can’t do this anymore and say please!”
Toddler: “MULAN PLEASE!”
You: “Last time!”
Toddler: “I want Word Party!”
Yep. Most likely “said toddler” needs to sleep, eat, or poop in this situation.
Most likely "said mommy" is thinking about smashing her own head with, "said remote."
It’s ironic that a mother’s job is to teach her kids to not need her anymore when these little beings are so needy. We are supposed to make sure they can go out on their own and thrive.
Gosh, can you imagine that? Accepting that success, of their independence, will be beautiful to watch but sad. Because Motherhood is the only planet where you work for free and can’t get fired. Yet even though you think about it at times, quitting would never actually happen and the thought of them leaving you one day, breaks your heart.
The one thing about these aliens, they have your whole heart. And you willingly would give it to them again and again.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook.
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