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Challenge: Parenting Resolutions

We Don't Do Resolutions In Our House...

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New Year's resolutions carry a negative message if you ask me.They scream "you're not good enough" in gym windows, on Facebook walls of people trying to sell you something. They typically always start with "what do you want to fix." I used to make new year's resolutions every year until a few years ago when I realized that I didn't actually want to fix anything, I wanted to make some things better. That's when I decided to dump the resolutions and focus on daily intentions.

First off, setting a goal on the first day of a new year seems limiting to me - why wait? If you have something you want to achieve, set the goal NOW, start chasing it ASAP...don't wait until a new year starts. Second, if you're like me and you have a lot of goals you want to achieve, setting a daily resolution or intention might be a more manageable way to achieve it. Third, never, ever look at yourself as inadequate - EVER. Yes, you might have some work to do on yourself (don't we all), but beating yourself up is never the answer. Finding a way to lift yourself up is!

Since I've had kids my approach to resolutions has changed. I want to impress upon them the positive meaning behind the action. That's the optimist in me! Instead of declaring one specific resolution, I choose a word for myself (and my business) that I want to focus on for the year and every day I set an intention (or resolve) around that word. It's a fun way to climb the goal mountain step by step instead of trying to to race to the top. And because it's set in a way that isn't intimidating, it's often easier to reach the end result (less chance of quitting).

My kids are 11 and almost 5, and I think it's important to let them know what my goals are for myself and our family. We do a lot of our serious conversation having at bedtime, it's a good way to wind down the day and it's also a good time for my older one to open up and be more candid with his information (tweens!!). For years, every night at bedtime we talk about something we're grateful for that happened during our day. We take turns and tell our individual stories. At the beginning of the year I tell them what my new word is and explain some of the goals I have that are going to help me make that word significant throughout the year. Then I ask them to think of a word for themselves, and every night we talk about what we did in relation to it. As they grow older I hope they recognize the significance around our conversations and the meanings of their words.

Our words for this year are: prosperity, kindness and learning.

What are your words?

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