Lately I have been struggling, not only as a mom, but as a person. I don't think our kids realize we are human beings with thoughts, feelings and well...a life. To them it's whether or not the fridge is stocked, if their favorite PJs are washed and how often we can chauffeur them from point A to point B. I'm ready for them to "C" me...really see me.
If we stop and think about it, we are all going through something and struggle with different issues. On the outside, it looks like we are happy. It looks like we are going through the daily emotions and beyond that, nothing else exists. Well, I am here to tell you that's not the case and I bet you all agree.
We are dealing with issues with our spouses, deadlines at work, concerns with our body and our health, along with struggles to find the time to relax and take a breath. We crave a girl's night out, worry about our aging parents and juggle it all with little or no help.
We don't walk around with these issues written on our head and for many of us, we fake it until we make it...that is until we make it to the end of the day and then go home and collapse.
This morning as I dropped my kids off at the bus, one was being disrespectful and the other, whining about something so ridiculous, I couldn't bare to hear another second of it. I was tired, cranky, dealing with a recent diagnosis of PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and a husband who had just caught a 4:30AM flight to work out of state for the week. I was especially annoyed with the guy who drove so slowly this morning who almost made me miss the bus. Yah...it was a bad morning.
Why should I hide all of that? I didn't. Just ask the ladies at the bus stop who instead of my usual "good morning" greeting, were lucky enough to hear, "I am going to f*cking strangle my kids today...have a good one". I then cried all the way home...just because.
So what if these ladies don't think I am a perfect mom? Guess what, no one is. Maybe my admission of the urge to sell my kids this morning will make them feel like they are not alone. It is so nice to know other moms go through the exact same thing that we do. It's my saving grace!
Moms, I am here to tell you Mastering Motherhood is not what you think. It's not about being the perfect mom (what does that even mean?), but admitting when you have failed and being okay with it. One day you are going to be a Mommy Master and another, a Mommy Disaster. Kids have cranky and bad days so why can't we?
I love my kids and they are my everything but sometimes, it just becomes too much. Too much whining, too much asking, too much "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" and not enough respect, manners and gratitude.
Moms, are you with me? I know you are. Like we tell our kids, "Sharing is caring". I hope by sharing my Mommy hardships with all of you, it makes you feel more human.
TOGETHER WE CAN MASTER MOTHERHOOD!™