Today I cried at the gym.
Not because I fell and sprained my ankle trying to do pull ups. (No, that happened 6 months ago.)
Not because I hate the way I look in the mirror. (No, I’m trying to be kinder to myself.)
Not because someone corrected my form. (No, that happened last week.)
Today I cried because of a song.
Yes, a song.
We all have those songs, right?
The ones that can hit us in all the feels if the timing is right.
The ones that can flood us with memories as soon as we hear that first note.
The ones that make us feel completely alive with emotions with just a single verse.
And for a moment, as I rested between sets, I let myself feel it all.
I let myself lean in to the awareness of all the hate, despair, fear, loss and hopelessness out there right now.
I sat in those heavy feelings and let them wash over me like a wave of raw emotion.
I didn’t push the hard feelings away - because if we do that too often the negative feelings build up and eventually seep out sideways.
And so I stayed in that moment and let myself feel.
Then I pushed myself to find the glimmers of hope.
I forced myself to consider all that is good in my life and in the world right now.
I let myself lean in to the things that bring my life light and laughter, despite the times of darkness.
Suddenly my tears were no long tears of sadness but tears of gratitude - for no matter how much darkness surrounds us, light always finds a way back in.