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Challenge: Infertility

To the mother wishing for a living baby: You don’t need my empty promises

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To the mother waiting for her living baby,

I want to tell you that I think you are courageous and gracious and strong. There are so many words that spill from my heart when I witness your pain and hear your story. But, there is one thing that you will never hear from me.


I will never tell you that a living child is in your future.


Because I do not know what the future holds for you. I do not know where your motherhood journey has yet to take you. To tell you to just wait, that one day you will hold a baby in your arms instead of your heart, I will not do that. It is a promise that I cannot keep and you don’t need my empty promises.

What can I promise you?

I can promise to be there when the days feel long and the nights even longer. I promise to honor the children in your heart as much as any living baby I know. When you need someone to acknowledge the longing ache of your empty arms, I can be that person. My words will always be full of support and void of platitudes.

I can promise to remain hopeful when you are feeling incredibly hopeless.

I will do all of these things for you, but I will never lie to you. I will never try to promise that you will one day have a living child.


Because I love YOU.

I love you and I will continue to love you no matter how many children are in your arms. I admire you for the mother you are and not the mother you had dreamed you would be. Yes, I believe that you deserve the motherhood you once imagined but I also believe you are deserving of love and hope if it never happens that way.

So again, I want to tell you that I love you. I think you are courageous and gracious and strong. I am here for you no matter what.

And that is all that you need to hear from me.

Originally published on An Unexpected Family Outing

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